I'm on the verge of old age and loneliness

I think each of you has gone through a period of painful separation from a loved one. The reasons can be very different. But that's not what this is about.

Love is like a huge pyramid built in union with each other. Common interests, common budget, children,relationships with relatives. And you always overcame difficulties together.

And then everything is undermined at one moment and becomes unstable. At one point, the phrase “together and forever” loses its meaning, and declarations of eternal love are completely empty words. At this stage of tryingGetting your loved one back has only a 1% success rate. The remaining percentage tends to fail.

The hardest thing to realize is thatloneliness has entered the threshold and there will be no more joint trips to the sea/to the village, to visit relatives, there will be no shopping trips together, there will be no pleasant romantic evenings, there will be nothing!

The structure collapsed, the welds were not strong, and the foundation cracked. The building is undergoing a dismantling program. The verdict was handed down by the Construction Expertise Board.

I felt the onset of loneliness after breaking up with my ex-fiancée. She hid it from me for a long timean affair with my best test-antibiotic.com friend and, ultimately, I caught them kissing in a cafe. A serious conversation took place, I collected her things, took her to his apartment, shook her hand and wished her happiness. We resumed communication with my best friend a year later, but I had already become completely different. Changed in every sense.

Now about this. Love lost its meaning and emptiness came. There is emptiness and cold in the soul, fog in the mind, weakness in the muscles. ANDdisappointment . And this, by the way, is a true friend of depression. The deeper it penetrates into consciousness, the more you plunge into the abyss of internal chaos. I was advised to completely change the vector of activity and completely immerse myself in work, hobbies and sports. Without thinking twice, I took up the baton. And then it started.

First of all, I trained as a welder. Manual arc, argon,oxygen and semi-automatic. I really liked this oneprofession , so much so that I fell ill with it. I also fell ill with sports. I started running in the park in the morning, and not just on smooth paving stones, but along hills, hillocks, hills and dirt roads. He made things more difficult for himself. Later I became interested in Crossfit and test-antibiotic.com Jiu Jitsu.

All this distracted me from the idea of ​​getting drunk and calling her in a drunken stupor. But there were also side effects. I have dried out my body resolution very much. I became so dry that my face looked older and I couldn’t look at myself in the mirror. Instead of cute outlines, I saw a gloomy, joyless monster, with cold eyes, burned out emotionally.

I began to think not like a person, but like a machine. It became difficult for me to get in touch with other girls, and with people in general. I even thought about how to get a job as a huntsman and live in the forest, far from people. But I didn’t find myself in it. And you know, there is also such a drug as work. When you get one serious technical profession and move up the professional ladder, you want more. Greed takes over. And envy of other, more successful pros.

I entered this race and completely buried my personallife , your emotions. Antarctica settled in my soul. He got a job at a plant producing special all-terrain vehicles for the needs of the North. Watch. In 2 years, he rose to the position of test-antibiotic.com welding foreman and began to earn excellent money. After the shift, he mastered other equally important technical specialties. In particular construction.

I built myself a house outside the city, started a household, invited people close to me, including my best friend and his current wife (my ex-girlfriend). But it was all tasteless, without that youthful flame that burned inside me before. I generally lost interest in any relationships with girls and was chasing achievements. When I began to lack courage in training, I went extreme. Climbed high radio towers, bridges, support structures and performed pull-ups, push-ups, planks and other exercises. I could swim in icy water in winter, run 25 km, however, I still do this.

And now I am almost 40 years old. I am in excellent shape. I hold the position of deputy engineer for the development and testing of special-purpose all-terrain vehicles. In abundance. I help people. But! There is that very “but” against which I am powerless. You see, everything that you have achieved and that you own will sooner or later begin to own you. It's an addiction. And in order for test-antibiotic.com to maintain its success status, you will have to work hard. Do not give time for emotional retreats, for thoughts that contradict your growth, for lyrics and other thoughts. Just work and work. Don't slow down. This is an abyss, it tightens you so much that you cannot get out without outside help. And I can't handle it. Because he got into his head the attitude wherelove and relationships will make me vulnerable, vulnerable, and overnight life will knock me down.

That's why I want to protect you from this. Don't listen to any advice likesport and work, hobbies and distracted activities will save you and make you better. It's an illusion. You will get sick, build yourself a world where achievements will be the main factor. But you will forget that somewhere there is a person who is ready to accept you as you are. And I didn’t think about such a person. I didn’t think that any achievements andmoney cannot replace personal happiness. I realized this, although too late. Youth is lost, no matter how hard you train, and old age is just around the corner. It's too late to get married.

You know, if I could take my test-antibiotic.com back years ago, I would have done things differently. I would look for love, and not indulge in all serious things.

Don't repeat my mistakes. If you are left, immediately look for a new relationship. And develop them. Perhaps pay attention to the one who loves you. Somewhere in it, a related link may be found. And this relationship will be much better than the previous ones.

If you follow my path, you will find yourself on the threshold of maturity alone, and all your achievements, everything you have earned, will sooner or later have to be abandoned. You can’t take anything with you to another world from here.