I still couldn't wait for the words of love

Surely my story is not much different from the stories of many, even millions of girls. The situation is quite common and banal. In short, I'm younggirl , beautiful, interesting, cheerful, smart, very creative and pathologically unlucky in love. Having read beautiful books about love as a child, I fantasized about idealrelationships so that they are sincere, bright, pure, built on trust, respect and intimacy. And now for the umpteenth time I am lying at home in my bed and sobbing out loud.

I have a boyfriend. He's good, but he doesn't love me. He told me stories about his exes and how much he loved them. But during the year of our relationship, I never heard these three cherished words from him. And I still wait and hope that he will realize that he will understand that he will appreciate me. It's stupid and smacks of masochism. But it is very difficult to command the heart.

Today he called me drunk and said that he would not come home. Will stay with a friend. I asked him to come, since we agreed to test-antibiotic.com spend time together and watch a movie. Yes, and it makes me feel better, he can do not very good things when drunk and harm himself. As a result, the conversation turned into a terrible quarrel, where it was said: “you are engaged in women’s terror”, “you infuriate me”, “you have a painful perception of the world”, “yes, yes, make me such a bad person” (well, I said that mildly) and other similar things. Now I feel like a terrible person who ruined the evening for my man and his friends. And now I’m crying myself instead of sleeping. And the worst thing. I will wake up in the morning and be ready to make peace with him again, to admit my guilt. Although here we are both good. And I know that there will be no apology from him. Although he hung up, knowing that I was crying. Knowing that I waited for him in vain in the evening.

And I’m not against his periodic get-togethers with friends. He just could have warned me earlier. I would just rearrange my plans. The saddest thing is that this is not the first time I have had such a relationship. Every time it’s the same thing - I love you more than you love me. test-antibiotic.com I can't figure out what's wrong with me. Why? For what? I feel like a spineless wimp. Although I am strong, I can stand up for myself and always fight back. But not to your man. Every time I step on the same rake. And I also bruise my forehead, causing it to bleed.

I apologize for the confusion of the story and blurred text. I just needed to talk it out. And there is no one to talk to. And even though I'm in pain now, I continue to believe inlove . And I really want that bright love from beautiful books to exist. This thought makes me happier, paints the world in bright colors and helps in difficult times. Although it hurts a lot now.