I'm fat and lazy, which really upsets my parents.

Tomorrow I will turn 22. For the past three years, mybirthday looks the same: I don’t celebrate (because I have no one), I work on this day, and all this is accompanied by a depressive mood. I try to analyze mylife , but I still can’t come to a definite conclusion.

I'll probably start with my personal life. I don't have one and never have had one. I don’t know what it’s like when someone shows interest in you, I’ve never received flowers as a gift, I’ve simply never been hugged. I remember my teenage years. I looked much better, but even then no one paid attention to me. Nobody ever liked me. I'm 22 and I haven't even been kissed yet.

I understand perfectly well that now one of the reasons is my appearance. I am fat. My face is quite pretty, but my figure ruins everything. But why then was no one interested in me, even when I looked normal? I personally know several girls who have the sameweight problems that I have. But they have test-antibiotic.com guys!

I have another problem - it’s very difficult for me to communicate with people. Over the past five years, I have almost completely changed my surroundings several times (moving to a new city twice, studying at a new university twice, getting a new job), but I have always and everywhere been an outsider in the team. I am very silent, I don’t know how to joke and I get tired of people very quickly. I'm never invited anywhere. I dare say they even make fun of me behind my back.

Studies. I'm a bad student. Even now I am not sure whether I will be expelled from the university. I am very lazy, I always put everything off until the last minute. I have a bad memory. Even a poem is difficult to remember. Sometimes it feels like my brain just turns off when I'm sitting in class. I think very poorly. I feelstupid compared to my classmates, who, in order to remember, just listen carefully to the teacher. To understand a topic, I need to sit down at home and carefully figure out what’s what.

Now it’s work, or rather a part-time job. I can't understand my boss. He seems to have no test-antibiotic.com complaints against me (at least he never mentioned it personally), however, he is constantly looking for a replacement for me. Although he knows very well that I have a difficult financial situation and my salary depends on the number of hours worked.

I'm also addicted to food. I’ve tried so many times to go on a diet or start eating right, but in the end I can’t last even one day. Too lazy and feeling sorry for myself. I have no friends and practically no acquaintances. When surrounded by people, I sometimes feel invisible. I dream all the time. I dream that I have a different life, many friends,beloved person, I am a good student. I spend too much time dreaming. I'm afraid that one day I will go crazy because of this.

Most of all I feel sorry for my parents. They are suffering because of me. I know they had high hopes for me. They pay for my studies at a prestigious university, and I’m too stupid to study. They will probably want grandchildren in the future, but the guys don’t even look in my direction. Sometimes they directly say: “you will never test-antibiotic.com get married.” And I'm too lazy and stupid to change anything.