I got married without love, now I'm unhappy

I leftmarry not for love, but because it was necessary. I was 26 years old then. I couldn't have children for a long time. She gave birth only five years after marriage.

The long-awaited boy was born. I am 38 now, and so is my husband. My husband and I are like strangers. There is never any support from him in anything. Endless complaints about money, a separate budget began at his suggestion during my maternity leave. Counts mineWhat do I spend money on? Everything justifies your expenses - cigarettes, dailybeer . He criticizes my spending, even though I pay my rent and buy clothes for my child.

Coarseness. The relationship is not at all trusting. Doesn't give gifts on holidays. I tried to hint with my example, to show that I wanted congratulations - I bought a gift for the New Year 2018 - symbolically, but still. He didn’t even say thank you, he took it for granted, and in response - a donut hole. Last year I gave her an expensive bag and received one rose in return. I openly said: “Why didn’t you even give me a flower for my birthday ?” The rose withered the next day.

We sleep in different rooms. Sex happens rarely. This is the result. I analyzed a lot what I was doing wrong. Probably the biggest mistake was that I got marriedwithout love and chose an egoist. I'm trying to talk about how this can't go on. He takes it with hostility and blames me for everything. By the way, his favorite pastime is to make someone look guilty. In general, I’m tired of this life. I look at myself in the mirror, and there is my aunt, tortured by life, it’s even disgusting to look at. I feel sorry for the child - he is only 5 years old.