I'm stuck in a dead end and don't know how to get out of it

My name is Zhenya, I am 18 years old, I live with my mother, I am finishing 12th grade, but this is all secondary, and this is the reason why I am writing here. I became interested in poker at the age of 13, I found it on social media. networks, and off we go. Then there were long breaks related to more important things.

And then 3 months ago I decided to try playing for realmoney . Was this the right decision? I don’t know, but the first time I failed, then I made a promise to myself and got a summer job, worked for almost 2 months and quit, tried to play again and it worked? No! I failed again, I already lost 50 euros, but I decided to try, one last time.

Everything went well, in a week from 20 to 85, not bad, but today I deliberately lost everything. After a small setback, I gave up, and you know what’s the worst thing? I haveguy , he's serioushealth problems (recently admitted to the hospital), he lives in another country, does not work (she dissuaded him because test-antibiotic.com he cannot do hard work, and due to lack of education he cannot get a job in another). He is 25 years old, myMom hates him, I love him very much and I don’t seem to care about anything, I can even live with him under a bridge, but for now this is not an option.

I have a year left until I graduate from school and now I’m in such a state that I don’t know what to do next with my life. I had a plan but it failed, I don't needadvice , no need to advise me to leave my boyfriend, I just needed to talk it out, this is probably the only thing that will help me somehow decide for myself how to move on. I know that the answer will be found, but this is the very moment when you should stop, breathe out and do nothing.