It’s a shame I didn’t listen to my husband and left the child

I am 24 years old, my husband is 32. We got married last year on Valentine’s Day. And even the coming coronavirus did not spoil uslife _ We spent a wonderful summer, traveled a lot, traveled half of Russia by car. We also planned several interesting routes for the winter, but life made its own adjustments. In November it turned out that II’m pregnant , although we didn’t plan a child so quickly and wanted to live for ourselves for a few years.

The fact is thatmy husband is now developing a new direction in business and that’s itinvests money in this project. Therefore, he carefully but persistently suggested that I have an abortion now, and in three years I would seriously look into this issue.

At first I was confused and was ready to have an abortion. I was afraid of childbirth, pain, that my life would change and I would no longer be able to manage it the way I wanted. But then I started dreaming about our baby, even in my sleep I felt his warmth and smell. And, naturally, I could not decide to terminate the pregnancy, because I understood that this was already a part of me, and if I destroyed it, I would never be the same.

It was more difficult to explain all this to my husband, who still stood his ground and proved thatthe child is not in time now. But then I seemed to come to terms with it and get used to this idea, until I got sick with coronavirus. The disease was difficult and, it seems to me, caused complications for the fetus. Doctors say the boy may be born with a heart defect. Most likely, you will need urgent surgery, and then constant medical supervision and long rehabilitation.

I can’t tell you how I feel! I'm counting down the days to hurry upgive birth to a baby before his little sick heart stops. I blame myself for not being careful and putting my child at risk, I cry constantly, my blood pressure is skyrocketing. And then the husband adds fuel to the fire: “I said that you need to have an abortion, this is your punishment for your stubbornness.”

I understand this myself, but who knew. How hard it is for me to hear such words at a time when I so need his support. Sometimes I just hate him. I want to slam the door and test-antibiotic.com leave, whatever happens. But there is still a glimmer of hope in my soul that he will change his ways.attitude when he sees the baby and takes him in his arms. Or maybe I'm just fooling myself.