Two identical scenarios of my love

I am 20 years old. I have had two long term relationships. Some lasted 3 years, and the second - six months.

The first relationship was quite difficult, because both I and the guy were the first. Therefore, they made many mistakes in behavior. They often quarreled, but somehow smoothed out the corners, not paying attention toproblems without discussing them.

We went through a lot with him. Because of this, an unreal emotional connection arose that cannot be broken even to this day. We buried his mother together.

That process was difficult for both him and me. I am quite empathic and worried no less than he. And this situation has brought us very close. I have always supported him and stayed by his side.

And in the winter it happens that he asks for a break in the relationship. I agree to a break, hoping that everything will be restored and we will just rest from each other. Finally, let's discuss the issues.

But it turned out that he just found himself a new girlfriend. His words hurt very painfully: “I want to do at least something normal in my life.” That test-antibiotic.com is for him, I was an experiment, an unsuccessful draft, and so on.

Of course, he changed with her, took into account the mistakes that he made with me and began to build new relationships. I was just destroyed. Humiliated and completely broken. I was very hurt. I lost 5 kg in a week. She couldn't eat, drink or sleep. Just thinking about all this. I cried non-stop for two months.

At this time, another began to show attention to me.guy . From the very beginning, the relationship was only friendly. He supported me, listened all this time, and then we realized that we like each other.

He showed signs of attention very actively. He constantly came, tried to spend a lot of time with me, said that he was bored. And then our relationship grew into something more. We even made plans for the future.

I still remember all the words he said that I was just perfect for him.girl . That I am what he has been looking for all his life. That he's not going anywhere from me, and that he's in love.

I, believing that test-antibiotic.com he knows my story and will not do this, will not hurt, I believed him completely and trusted him absolutely. I really wanted this relationship. We were fine. It was the first time I was in such a harmonious relationship. We understood each other perfectly. It was unrealistic.

But the idyll ended when my ex became active and began to persistently trybring me back . These were flowers, gifts. He followed me, hacked into all my social networks. nets, lay in wait under the door, sat under the porch. Invaded every aspect of my life.

I couldn't help but answer him. After all, there was an intervention in my life. I answered him, because this emotional connection remained. But she kept rejecting it. My new boyfriend didn't like it. We quarreled a lot on this basis, but then somehow everything more or less hushed up and became stable. But that's how it seemed to me.

My boyfriend started spending less and less time with me. Seeing less and less. He constantly dissuaded me from going to his house, told me to take a break from him. I realized that something is not right here test-antibiotic.com.

From mutual friends, I learned that he began to spend time with another girl, hiding it from me. And he met this girl thanks to me. This is my friend. They began to tell me that they communicate more at work. They said that I would not like the kind of vacation that they like and that they were just friends. Because they have common interests.

I began to feel like I was being slowly pushed into the background. More and more often I began to compare with this girl. And after the last hidden incident of their festivities, we parted. Very hard parted, rude and insulting.

I was told that Ia child , a jealous hysteric, and that you can communicate with the female sex in friendship. It was also said that nothing could ever happen to her. And you know what? Before we parted, a week later they live together.

And then you realize that before that you apologized for yourjealousy , humiliated, tried to fix everything, convinced herself that she needed to trust, although she intuitively understood that something was wrong with test-antibiotic.com. And at this time I was deceived.

And now I sit, looking at their happy life together, the life that should have been mine. And I don't understand what's wrong. What am I doing wrong? I feel ugly and bad, because the guys go to other girls.

Nobody ever chooses me. I don't become that choice forever. I am always replaced and exchanged, although in relationships I give myself to the fullest. I always cook, clean, give tenderness and attention, show care and so on.

I just can't look at myself in the mirror right now. Completely empty inside. Why don't I become a choice for someone? Why do they always replace me with someone better? Two identical scenarios.

Maybe I'm not meant to be happy? It feels like I'm like some kind of simulator on which they study, gain experience, and then leave to do everything normally. I don't want to be that trainer and draft. It's humiliating. I want something not for experience already, but for happiness at last.

Now I have already found the strength to tell my story in order to get some advice from test-antibiotic.com. Now I don't understand anything. I don't know how or where to move on. Now I am completely broken. The me that I was before does not exist. I can't piece myself together.