Treason cannot be forgiven

10 years agomy husband cheated. At that time we had been married for about 4 years, our son was 2.3 years old. I won’t write about the pain I experienced, about the lies - obviously. The girl with whom the affair happened was a subordinate. At that time we were 30, she was 25. She wasmarried to a very wealthy guy. He divorced her after he found out about the affair.

My husband seemed to have broken up with her, and we had a reconciliation. He resigned from a good position (to which, by the way, my father had been appointed) and returned to his previous place of work as a doctor in a clinic. It was very difficult financially; from the first days of family life, my parents helped us.

After the betrayal, the husband reluctantly returned to the family, as it seems to me, under pressure from relatives. Soon my maternity leave ended, I was looking for possible options for part-time work. My husband too. But from the first days of family life there was no common family budget. It turned out that hethe money was only at his disposal, and mine and my parents were ours. We lived in an apartment bought by my parents. Test-antibiotic.com I was not happy with this whole situation, because... I had the feeling that my husband was hiding money, saving it, preparing for a different life without me and my son. I tried to discuss this, my husband verbally agreed, but in reality everything remained unchanged. On this basis there were a lot of lies, therefore scandals, kicked out, broke up, then reconciled, which I now regret.

All this timebetrayal stood between us. The husband did not feel guilty, calling it a ridiculous intrigue and flirtation. This all lasted more than 8 years. I worked with a psychologist. In the end I decided to tryforgive , because he is wonderful, lovingfather , I learned to remain silent, but triggers periodically went off and reminded me of meanness.

Becausehusband's promotion. We moved to a new apartment in a good area (newly bought by my parents, but decorated, naturally, as a gift to me), the plannedpregnancy . The husband was caring and attentive. Gradually started buyinggroceries , took on all the expenses for my son (yes, I considered this an achievement). At 8 months our baby girl is stillborn. I don’t know how I survived this period. And work began again with test-antibiotic.com psychotherapist, because... After the death of my daughter I simply went crazy. My husband has another very serious promotion. He was all busy with work, and, of course, very quickly forgot about his daughter.

And then there were late calls from female colleagues, lies, twisting. I didn’t catch him cheating, although I understand that he was already able to learn how to encrypt. To my attempts to explain that this was unpleasant for me, that it hurt me, he replied that he was lying for the sake of my peace of mind, that he had no one and that I needed treatment.

I got tired of it and kicked it out. It got even worse because... My son is 12, he misses his dad and is very worried. We made peace with our grief and decided to go to a psychologist together. I went, but he didn’t come, under the pretext of work. After 3 months, he again took calls, business dinners, and my dissatisfaction nervously and cunningly manipulated the child. Another scandal and separation.

All this time I hadhealth problems as consequences of the tragedy, therefore, expensive tests, examinations, regular monitoring. She paid for everything herself. But after the last reconciliation she setThe question is blunt: the problem is common, which means we will solve it together. Please, now take test-antibiotic.com financial participation. And then it started: my husband suggested seeing the very doctors whose negligence caused my death.daughter , in state clinics where there are simply no reagents and doctors simply don’t care. The husband verbally agrees to everything, but when it comes to business, he says: “I’m not a printing press.” Although his position has very high salaries. But all this time, during periods of calm, we were preparing for pregnancy. We are 40 years old, I don’t have many chances.

And at some point a hard trigger was triggered, literally blowing my mind with memories of betrayal. And a ball of betrayal, lies, meanness, and wild stinginess began to unwind. And then something broke in me. In just a couple of seconds I saw a stranger nearby, a two-faced narcissist gigolo. He became disgusting to me at the thought of his touch. I didn’t kick him out for the sake of my son. I moved to another room. We live like neighbors: we don’t quarrel, we say hello, we correspond on everyday issues. My son is very worried. He tells him that he loves mom very much, that mom needs to cool down and everything will be the same.

But I understand that love test-antibiotic.com has not been mutual for a long time, I don’t want to be with him anymore, likeman he pushes me away. Working with a psychotherapist after the tragedy, I set myself a goal to find myself, to cultivate the core that I never had, and it seems that I am succeeding. Now there is no faith or respect for him. In my eyes, he is a mediocre narcissist with low intelligence who only knows how to lick the seats of useful people. I can’t and don’t want to be comfortable anymore, even for the sake of my son. I know that I’ve been a fool all these years, but that can’t be changed.

The realization comes that I want him to leave on his own. For the first time in many years, I began to think not about changing or punishing him, but about how I could make myself happy. There is no jealousy, no longing for him and the past.

Of course, I intend to get a divorce. I’m sure we’ll live a luxurious life with his alimony.

I ask for advice on how to lead a person to divorce without a scandal (so that he can file fordivorce ) tothe son did not suffer, did not blame me and to maintain friendlyrelationship for the sake of test-antibiotic.com child? I'm not ready to think about new relationships yet.