Love for a friend's wife ended in complete failure for me

Мне 25 лет. Я не имею своего жилья и по уши погряз в долгах и кредитах. Работаю на складе. Работу ненавижу. Малый доход это не то, о чем мечтал (впрочем, как у многих людей на этой планете).

Каждый раз, когда просыпаюсь утром, с отвращением встречаю новый день. Как так получилось? Я за свои 25 лет много где уже поработал (начиная с 16 лет). Но как таковой профессии не обрёл. Если не брать в счёт диплом электрика, который я так и не забрал с колледжа. Хотя проплатил обучение и остался должен куратору 15 тысяч за диплом. Наверное, он так и лежит у неё.

Были взлеты и падения. Я любил одну девушку, но она была замужем за моим другом. Я крестный отец их ребёнка. Его даже назвали таким же именем. Как-то раз я признался ей в своих чувствах, но без заявления о совместном будущем. Просто высказался, так как больше не мог держать это в себе (в секрете я это держал более 3 лет). Ответа, конечно же, я test-antibiotic.com не услышал. Но я и не рассчитывал на это.

Прошло немного времени (около 3-4 месяцев). Общение с ней сократилось до обычных фраз. И вдруг приходит сообщение от неё: «привет, можно тебя кое о чем попросить?». Я сказал, что можно. Она пишет: «нам нужно поговорить, но так чтобы никто не узнал, особенно мой муж!».

Я смекнул, о чем может пойти речь (в целом я не глупый человек, как минимум на тот момент таким являлся). В тот момент мы сидели с друзьями у меня на второй работе (я сторожил заброшенный объект).

Я сообщил друзьям, что мне нужно отлучиться ненадолго (якобы до девушки, с которой у меня только интимные связи). Я прыгнул в машину и быстро уже был возле её работы. Она работала в ночную смену на «кофе с собой».

Приехал я на удивление даже себе не в хорошем настроении, а наоборот меня зацепило то, как она может сыграть на моих чувствах. Разговор одним словом не получился, так как я сразу прямо спросил: «что ты хочешь от меня? test-antibiotic.com Ты ведь знаешь о чувствах! Ты что испытываешь ко мне? Ты хочешь быть со мной?».

В ответ я получил лепет: «Нет, что ты. Я не хотела тебя обидеть. Просто мы раньше так хорошо общались. Я просто хотела все вернуть так, как было». Я перебил её: «ты хочешь сказать, что написала мне, чтобы просто восстановить наше общение как прежде?».

Она молчала. Хотела что-то сказать, но не хватило смелости. Я хотел поцеловать, но она оттолкнула. Я сказал, что не нужно было и писать! Прыгнул в машину и с нервно уехал от неё. Она начала звонить, видимо испугалась, что натворю глупостей. Я не брал трубку, просто ехал, куда глядят глаза.

Через пару часов бессмысленного катания я приехал обратно к друзьям. Ещё пару недель у меня была мини депрессия. Позже я решил, что стоило бы перед ней извиниться за своё поведение.

Так же вечером приехал без звонка к ней на работу (я высчитал её график). Мы попили coffee , then we walked around, talking about different topics. Before taking her home, test-antibiotic.com I asked her about that message. And she admitted that for a long time I could not get out of her head.

But she is not ready to immediately “cut from the shoulder”, divorce her husband and be with me. She said it takes time. In the meantime, you can just try to sometimes spend time together secretly (without allowing yourself anything extra).

After some time, I agreed to this “adventure”. We met secretly and went for walks. I came to her work. We watched movies on my phone in the car. Sometimes we allowed ourselves to go to cafes (but to those in which we would not meet our mutual friends).

This lasted for several months. Then I said that I can’t do this anymore! Bringing her home knowing that she will fall asleep with someone else. That's what I told her.

After a long conversation, we quarreled and stopped communicating. As it turned out, not for long. A little later she wrote to me again, only this time a more frank message. We resumed our secret meetings, only we allowed ourselves kisses.

Of course, it was predictable that after a while I again began to demand a divorce and a normal relationship. We stopped communicating again. I started getting attracted to other girls (only for intrigue, flirting and sex). And he did another stupid thing, restoring communication with an old friend, getting him a job. He had financial difficulties (yes, that's exactly what he ishusband of my beloved).

After a while, it started at workaffair with one of the employees. At first I tried to dissuade him from cheating, and then I just began to observe. Of course, soon hemy wife found out everything (not from me!). She kicked him out of the apartment they were renting and he moved in with me (in the lodge at my second job).

At first she didn’t want to communicate with me, because she believed that I was the first one who should have told her everything. I was just visiting her and my godson. Broughtfood and all sorts of goodies (under the pretext that I was only visiting my godson). Well, as you might guess, one day we started test-antibiotic.com againrelationship . But this time everything was different. We didn't have to hide and hide. Everything could be done openly.

At first I didn’t tell my friend about this, but since he lived with me and I started leaving at night, I had to admit that I had started a relationship with his wife. Although they were still married, since no one filed fordivorce (strange why I didn’t pay attention to this then).

He was a little pissed, but in the end he said, “This is probably the best thing for all of us.” One day he asked him to take him to his previous apartment and pick up some things there.

Arriving there, he started making some jokes and for a second it seemed to me that he was trying to flirt casually with his still wife. She and I were sitting in the kitchen, and when he finished packing his things, I hugged her, hearing the steps of a friend entering the kitchen. I probably did it out of anger and to show him that she was mine now!

On the way to work at test-antibiotic.com, he said to me: “You have no conscience at all, you couldn’t help but do this in front of me?” I said that I will do what I want, and he has no right to tell me. At that moment, I remembered our conversations with him, when I asked him to come to his senses and stop having an affair on the side.

A few days later at work something happenedstrange case. A friend, without telling me anything, leaves work after lunch. Something immediately clicked in my head and I called her. She picks up the phone in tears. Realizing that he is there, I break away from work and go to them.

He didn't beat her, but he insulted her. He said that she did not act nicely towards him. About sleeping with someone else while they are still married. And that he does it so openly that rumors have already reached his relatives.

Arriving there, I took him outside. We both understood that there would be a fight, but we also knew about the consequences. The fights didn't take place, but there was something worse. He told me that they were planning to get back together. And they allegedly decided how to present it to me, but after the answer that she slept with me, such insults began.

I felt like I was just falling into an abyss. The world has collapsed. I remembered how I came to her after work and she joyfully greeted me, hugged me tightly and kissed me passionately. I didn't want to let go even for a second.

I thought that it was impossible to play like that, and rushed back to the apartment to find out the truth. And here is one of the most ridiculous and at the same time terrible situations of my life.

The three of us stand in the hallway of the apartment and find out who is who in this love triangle. OnWhen asked that they planned to get together, she firmly said that this was not true.

But her husband turned to her: “tell him what you told me half an hour ago!” She said nothing. Here's a call from work, I need to go. We decided that we would talk later

On the way, I told my “friend” to look for shelter, since test-antibiotic.com I don’t want to see him around anymore. The next day we broke up with her. But she didn’t get along with him either.

I was depressed. And again he began to establish relations with her. Wrote poems, gave flowers and justI reminded myself every day . We got back together and decided to move to another city and start over from scratch.

I quit my job and so did she. She had to go to her parents for a while, but I visited her twice a week. Even though it wasn't that close. And even an unemployed person cannot afford such trips.

I borrowed money from my father and we moved to another city. We rented a wonderful apartment. I paid 3 months in advance to give me time to find a job. But then the coronavirus and quarantine began. All plans collapsed.

At first everything went fine. But as soon as I started using a credit card to buy groceries, the relationship became colder (maybe this is a coincidence). We no longer slept in the same bed. She later admitted that she no longer loves test-antibiotic.com me.

As soon as the period of paid housing, as well as quarantine, ended, we parted ways. She went to her parents, and I went to mine. Only at that time I already had a lot of debts and loans. The fact is that before moving to another city, I paid off most of her debts and loans, taking on one large one (it was easier and paid less).

Why all this confession? This is probably a preface or where I think my streak of failures came from. Now I am completely hopeless and depressed. I live with a friend. Every two or three days I borrow a hundred rubles from him or his wife for cigarettes, since I have just enough money to make loan payments.

And now, having received an advance, I need to spend it entirely on payment. But what am I doing? I take it and bet onsports with the hope that I can pay off all my debts and move away from my friend. It's just unbearable to make him and his family feel uncomfortable anymore.

Of course I lost. When I saw the result, I burst into tears, test-antibiotic.com like a child. Sobbing, but covering his mouth so as not to wake up his friend's family. Now I’m standing and finishing my last cigarette and finishing writing myconfession​