How can I survive all this?
As I write, I understand that many will now judge me, and if they saw me, they would throw stones at me. Well, I will understand you, because if I had not found myself in such a situation, I probably would not have been able to understand.
I'm 30 years old, IMarried , unfortunately, no children. Everything was fine, but it so happened thatMy husband left for a long time for work, and I stayed to live with my grandmother. Let me make a reservation that my husband and I love each other and have been living together for 10 years.
So, when he left, a terrible thing happened (believe me, I’m very ashamed to write this) my stepfather began to pester me. I tried to fight back, but apparently I didn’t have the inner strength to refuse. It was terribly disgusting and very difficult to describe it in words.
He has a complex character and it’s not easy for his mother to live with him, latently he plays on this. She understands that I love my mother and if I refuse him, he will take out all the evil on her. Of course, after 8 months, I understand that I should have died, but not allowed myself to be touched. I hate test-antibiotic.com myself for this weakness and indecision.
I constantly hear reproaches that he loves me very much, but I do not reciprocate his feelings, trying to make me feel guilty. If I’m not nice enough to him, he gets angry and makes scandals for my mother and drives her into hysterics. My chronic diseases have worsened due to nervousness, I am losing weight, I am simply silent about my moral state, although I am on very strong sedatives and antidepressants.
You probably think that we are a dysfunctional family? No, we have an average income, I hold a normal position at a company, my husband and I can only drink on holidays, we don’t smoke, we play sports. I always thought that such horrors happen mainly in dysfunctional families, but how wrong I was. And that’s why I decided to write! My husband is back and now I’m just going crazy, I hate myself, mybody , yourbetrayal towards him and his mother.
I tried to separate from my husband, but he believes that my hysterics are simply the consequences of a disease that has worsened in me. I’m thinking of telling him, test-antibiotic.com that I changed, naturally without going into details, and then he will leave me and start a full-fledged family. I love him very much and want him to be happy, I can’t lie and pretend that everything is fine anymore. I understand that in such a situation it was my own fault, I had to let myself be killed, but not succumb, but I became cowardly and now I have to pay the price myself. Sorry for the chaotic description and thank you for listening, you understand that I cannot tell this to anyone.
Read together with it:
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