My loneliness in a large family

Has not left me since childhoodloneliness , although I grew up in a large family,my mother didn’t consider me a person at all,love went to my younger brothers and sister, and I, from the age of seven, was a cleaner, cook, laundress, and nanny.

At the same time, my mother always did not miss an opportunity to humiliate me, call me names for the reason that I was supposedly not of her breed, but similar to my father’s sisters, and she did not like them. I don’t even want to remember my childhood, there were so many insults and tears,my father worked from morning to night and did not interfere in any way with our difficultrelationship with my mother, and I never told him anything. When I grew up, I went to study in Moscow, went outgot married , gave birth to a child, and everything seemed to work out, I began to understand that I was actually quite attractivegirl , that there is something to love and respect me for. But my mother got into mylife , began to humiliate me in front of my husband, described my shortcomings that were known only to her, saying that I was a monkey, a slob, and that if test-antibiotic.com was not minehusband , then I was left without a family.

In short, I endured her antics for a long time, in the end, I quarreled with her to smithereens and have not spoken for more than 5 years, I don’t want her to communicate with my son. I understand that a mother is sacred in a person’s life, but I haven’t seen anything good from her, and for some reason childhood grievances come to mind even more vividly when I want everythingforget . She was never pleased with my successes, by the way, I studied well, we never had a heart-to-heart talk with her, she is a stranger to me, I understand with my head that this is wrong, but my soul does not turn in her direction, I don’t know what to do.