Can't forgive myself
I want to write my life story, but I don't know where to start. I know that if I tell you in detail, they will condemn and throw stones, I am not ready for this, and so the cats scratch my soul.
I am one of the traitors who at one time did not appreciate all the benefits that she had. And even now it's not about them, but about my state of mind. My husband has forgiven and accepted, but I cannot forgive and accept myself. It’s disgusting for me to look in the mirror, to go out to people. I shut myself up. I can't think of anything else. Constantly scrolling in my head, why did I do this and why could I not stop at the time?
I so wanted to be with this person that I did not pay attention to the persuasions of relatives and friends, I did not want to hear anyone or anything. But I confess, I fell in love with him very much and now I love him no less. I have always been very attached to my mother. I couldn't get over when she just came home from work a little upset. Her heart ached for test-antibiotic.com. So I was worried about every occasion, with regards to my mother. But at that time I saw how she worries about me, how she does not want mythe family was falling apart. She cried at times, fought in hysterics. But I didn’t care about this, I had a goal, to be with my beloved, the rest is not important. Now I realize how worthless and selfish I was. And I am very sorry and ashamed of all this.
Why am I saying all this? Yes, there is no life after betrayal. There is existence. I don't see, I don't find a reason to live. I understand that no one needs me. And here I am in need of it. And it does not give rest. I don't know exactly what I regret. About the fact that now she was left without him and washed away life? Or that she did all this many years ago?
But only with him I felt like a happy, beloved woman. I enjoyed life with him, but now I don’t know what to rejoice at. Now I'm just calm. No more emotions. Didn't test-antibiotic.com know why she posted this? I do not need advice, since I will not do anything, it makes no sense. I just wrote, probably to pour out my soul, I can no longer live with such pain. This is my littleconfession .
Read together with it:
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