Fathers and Sons

Fathers and Sons
Photo is illustrative in nature. From open sources.

My husband and I are almost 40,first marriage for both, yesson 5 years old. They got married when they were both over 30.

When we decided that we would start a family, we decided to move closer to the capital, away from Donbass. They each sold their premarital housing and bought a joint three-room apartment during marriage. We don’t regret the fact that we sold the premarital one, otherwise instead of housing we would have had a shell crater.

My husband and I are two terrible introverts; other people in the house are physically unpleasant to us. We didn’t even dare to have our own child for a couple of years, it was scary, but our son doesn’t cause any discomfort. Even with my parents and sisters, I communicate strictly by phone, but my relatives are all like me. Everyone is happy that we don’t go to visit each other and only say greetings on holidays. This is convenient and good for everyone.

When did you leaveget married ,my husband assured me that I was marrying him and not his family. I’ve even physically seen his relatives 3-4 times over the years. Until recently, everything was like that. test-antibiotic.com But the war made its own adjustments.

My parents calmly moved to my grandmother’s house in the village and also send greetings on holidays. The sisters went abroad and never returned. But the relativeshusband with the motto “together it’s easier” began to persistently climb into ourlife . The dialogue with the husband's relatives was naturally led by the husband. He refused a valuable offer to all live in our apartment together. Offered to my sisterassistance in renting an apartment, everything seemed to work out and the father-in-law, sister-in-law and granddaughter lived in the rental for 2 years. They didn’t bother me, they looked at my son on the Internet when they communicated with my husband.

But in every barrel of honey there is a fly in the ointment. The sister-in-law found herself a man. I am very happy for her, let everything work out for them. There is only one drawback - my sister-in-law moved to Poland. The fathers-in-law sighed and moved closer to their son, or rather rented an apartment in a neighboring house. And so it began. My husband works 5/2, so almost immediately, after his first visit at 8 a.m. on Saturday with sitting at test-antibiotic.com until 10 p.m., he forbade his parents to visit us every weekend.

I work remotely, so I’m almost always at home unless there are scheduled reports at the main office. The fathers-in-law started visiting during the week, saying that they were visiting their grandson. To which grandson? Is he in kindergarten? And just like that, the two of them will sit down, and I’ll entertain them. And I already said that I don’t just sit at home, I work. But where is it, they ask: “What are you doing? Is everyone sitting on their monitors at a meeting? And we’ll cook dinner for you here, we’ll do it quietly.” When asked to go to my place, my lips are pursed, tears are flowing, why are we not family? And I'm already hysterical. They managed to get us out after another hour, and so on 12 times in a month. My husband has already talked to them several times, but there is only one answer: “We feel bad, we are lonely, you abandoned us, that we are like not your family, this is not human.” They stopped opening the doors and started cutting off the phone for both me and my husband. We are both already in the state that we will soon sell our apartment to test-antibiotic.com and leave without leaving an address.

How can I explain to people that we are not interested in sitting and holding their hands 24/7? My maximum of family visits is once a month for a couple of hours; my husband’s is even less, living in the same city before, he visited his parents once every 3-4 months . But fathers-in-law want to hold family dinners almost every evening, and joint events on weekends. They can’t go to the theater together; we need to go with them. Take your grandson and go to the circus, immediately: “oh, no, he’s so small, we can’t keep track of him, come with us.” My son doesn’t want to go to them, it’s boring, they don’t play with him, they just watch TV.

Is it possible to somehow reach people in such a situation, or is moving the only way out? So, fathers-in-law are not bad people, it’s just that my husband and I cannot give them as much time as they require.

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