Why don't men like me?

All minelife is a series of unrequited loves. At school I liked different boys one after another, but they did not pay attention to me.

I always looked younger than my age, for example, at 16 to 13. And I was never a beauty. And the boys ran after either the first beauties of the class, who looked older than their years, as is usually the case, or after my girlfriends, who were ordinary, but looked their age. In addition, I did not have any experience with the opposite sex. My grandfather died when I was 6, my dad left us at the same time. There wasn’t a single man around until I went to work, before that there were informal acquaintances with classmates and classmates.

I was afraid of boys, I didn’t know what to tell them, how, when, so as not to look stupid. My first strongest love was a famous singer, whom, naturally, I saw only on TV. Then I fell deeply in love with a classmate, worried for several years, and found the strength to leave the institute for another so as not to see him. test-antibiotic.com Then I fell in love with a man at work - a handsome man, but 20 years older than me. She managed to become his friend. This was not an attempt to replace my father; on the contrary, I perceived this man as my ward, I tried to protect and help in everything. He had a frivolous character, like a very young guy, and I felt as if I was older than him.

Then she fell in love with another man at work, her same age. It got to the point that she confessed her love to him. He refused me. Since then, I have been afraid to take the initiative in relationships with men. I communicate quite freely, but I’m already afraid to confess my love. I can only look with all my eyes at the one I like. I suffered for this guy for 12 years. He got married, he had children, it was a nightmare. Then I had my firstrelationship with a man 12 years older than me. He was an alcoholic, a womanizer, a very dysfunctional and tough person. He just had fun with me and left me for someone else. I took it relatively well, cried for a year, test-antibiotic.com and then calmed down. Even though I haven’t been crying for 12 years, that’s good. The acquaintance was on his initiative, and then I developed the relationship. The man told me to my face that he didn’t love me, but I perceived it as frivolity, I thought that he would appreciate it over time. Since then I have hated alcoholics and womanizers.

Then I got my first real fan in my life. I didn’t like him, at most, I perceived him as a friend. When I proposed, I was afraid that no one would call again.got married , continued to suffer from past relationships, thought that life still had no meaning without a loved one, why not dedicate it to a good person, albeit an unloved one. The marriage turned out to be very unsuccessful. Without going into details, now more than anything in the world I want to get a divorce, stand firmly on my own two feet, build a career, and get married successfully a second time. But for now this is not possible. And there already ischild . And here I am again falling in love with a man who doesn’t need me. We met several times on serious business issues, but I was so hooked that I cried for a month, realizing that I was not interested in him, that we would never test-antibiotic.com see each other again, that nothing would happen. There was one meeting that I initiated when I simply came up with a reason for the meeting. He promised to call about business, but did not call. Either I forgot or guessed that my arrival was special. In any case, he doesn't need me. If I had been needed, I would have seized on any excuse to talk again, to meet again. I wanted to continue to come up with reasons and see him at least occasionally, I wanted to pluck up courage and confess my love to him or invite him to drink togethercoffee (just an informal chat, nothing like that). And then I realized that after being rejected in the past, when I had already confessed my love, I was terrified of hearing a hard “no” in response. I can't. Maybe it's bad, but that's how it is. For some reason I don’t want to organize meetings either, I can’t think of a reason, I’m afraid that it will already be obvious that I’m coming out of stupidity and not on business. I don’t want to impose myself and run after him so that he laughs or avoids me. I remember one colleague who ran after one man like that, he test-antibiotic.com did not respect her at all, she looked pitiful and funny. I don't want to be like that. Which means I will never meet him and will never see him. And all that remains, as always, is to sit and cry. I would give anything for himLove .

Why am I such a failure? If I were beautiful, rich, healthy, maybe I could be with this person. He would have liked it. So who needs me? Why have I never had mutual love? I can not do this anymore. I am already 35 years old. I have serioushealth problems . I'm not a bright beauty that everyone immediately likes. Nobody likes me at all. Aheaddivorce from my husband, I will have to work hard and raise a child alone, living only in his interests.

I just wanted to talk it out and cry into my vest. Thank you.