Housing problem interferes with my happiness

Housing problem interferes with my happiness
Photo is illustrative in nature. From open sources.

My girlfriend and I are 23 years old, we have been dating for more than two years. We live in our parents’ apartments (she is with her mother, father, grandmother and sister, and I am with my mother).

We work and study, both after college, so yes, at 23 we are just starting to get a higher education. She studies for 120 thousand a year, that is, 10 thousand a month must be saved, I study for free from work. It's been standing for a long timethe question of separate housing for her and me, but since we started working not very long ago, real opportunities appeared again recently. She simply has nowhere to live, and mine is grumpy and domineering.a mother who will not give you a peaceful life. My father lives in the distant Moscow region in his own house, and he doesn’t care about me, and even more so he won’t help. So, in fact, I stood at the crossroads of three roads, and they are all different, each with its own beauties, but also pitfalls.

The first way -rent an apartment . Pros: the issue of housing is resolved here test-antibiotic.com and now we live on our own, we don’t depend on anyone, if we don’t cope with life or there are some other problemsproblems , you can always just run back to your parents' houses without any long-term consequences. Cons: everythingthe money will go towards housing. My salary is 35-40 thousand, hers is only 20 (well, sort of 30, but 10 thousand is stable for studying for two more years for sure). To rent an apartment in Moscow is 30 thousand for an adequate one-room apartment, and another 20-25 for food, utilities and household needs. In total, there will be zero left - you won’t save up for anything, you won’t buy anything, you won’t go anywhere. Yes, of course there are prospects for salary increases, but in fact the situation now is as I described above.

No foreseeable future. Well, we’ll live “while we’re young” for a year or two, and then what? Then it would be nice to get married, but why should we celebrate the wedding? Why save? Maybe our parents will help, maybe we’ll put it off ourselves, get married, and then what? We will want a child, even if not immediately, but 2-3 years after the wedding. Where to grow it? In a rented one-room apartment? Or move test-antibiotic.com to my mother, who will not let me live in peace (and even after 5-6 years of living separately, returning to my parents again is not a pleasure). Everything is very vague and there are a lot of questions.

The second way is to save for a mortgage. More precisely, for a more or less significant down payment. Pros: ownapartment , our children will no longer have the same problems as ours, we will invest and spend money on our own specificthe future , and not just give money to some guy. The money will accumulate faster, since a promotion is just around the corner for both her and me. Let the salary only increase by 6-8 thousand, but for two it will give a good increase, and there will be less expenses, since she will finish studying in a couple of years and will no longer need to pay the extra 10 thousand. Cons: How many more years will you live with your parents in separate apartments? This is akin to hell, since the restrictions associated with the lack of your own separate housing are already straining, then it will get worse,The relationship is developing, and jostling in the kitchen with your mother is not a very bright prospect. This test-antibiotic.com is a very severe test for a relationship, and it is generally not clear whether it is worth it or not. You will still have to pay a hefty mortgage, and the apartment will be small and then it will become very crowded there, even with one growing child.

The third way is to exchange my and her shares in my parents’ apartments, make a significant down payment for the mortgage and pay the rest in payments not exceeding the cost of renting the apartment (the same 25-30 thousand). Pros: the opportunity to move into your own (even if it’s a mortgaged) apartment in a relatively short time (with option No. 2), about one and a half to two years, the opportunity to live a young life for now, to go somewhere on vacation together, even if it’s not very expensive, buy something for yourself from personal belongings, and not spend money on renting an apartment. A more or less clear future. Cons: my mother and I’s apartment (three-room) belongs in shares 1/5 to me, 1/5 to my mother, 1/5 to her sister, 2/5 undivided from my deceased grandparents. Orally, the parents bequeathed the apartment to the sisters in half. Legally, during the division, my mother and I will have 3/5, her sister will have 2/5. Humanly speaking, I will have nothing here test-antibiotic.com, just an inheritance from my mother, and my mother and sister each have 1/2 of the apartment.

Her sister lives in an apartmenthusband (unfortunately, he recently died suddenly from heart disease) with his adult son, and in principle there were preliminary conversations and it seems like mother and sister, when exchanging three rubles for two one-room apartments, are ready to leave:My husband’s sister will give her a one-room apartment to her son, my mother will give me a one-room apartment at the expense of her share in this apartment, and at the expense of the second share, she and her sister will go to live out their lives in a separate apartment together. UThere’s really nothing to change the girls there, since her grandmother gave the whole kopeck piece to one of her older sisters, that is, her granddaughters (and there are four in total). The second sister lives with his rich husband, and also has a share in her mother’s apartment, as a result, there are also 3-4 shared owners sitting on this three-ruble ruble, and as a human being they don’t want to do anything there, and you shouldn’t expect help from her parents . The best case scenario is to persuade my relatives to buy out my girlfriend’s share and give her at least some dowry, test-antibiotic.com, to add to the down payment on the mortgage.

All you have to do is say “no” to one link in this chain, and this whole plan will go to hell. For example, the girl’s relatives will balk and won’t buy anything back and her share will mean exactly zero, or my mother will change her mind and won’t want to move in with her sister in her old age and that’s all. Even if we come to an agreement with everyone, the entire legal process and the process of buying and selling property requires money and time. If we promote this issue to the camp of my relatives and hers, then they may simply ask us a question (because no one else needs this), they say, why do you need to solve this issue now, you don’thusband andDon't you have a wife and children? And there is no way to explain to the old people that when we become husband and wife, and even more so when children appear, then we will actually need living space, and not start trying to resolve this issue.

I want to listenadvice from outside, since I myself don’t know what to do, and test-antibiotic.com is not where to expect support. I am very lucky with my girl, and she is ready to go through any thorns with me if necessary, but I still want to subject her to as few tests as possible and am looking for the best solution to the future issue of living space for separate living. I understand that many will scold me, they say, I’m unsecured, why are you fooling a girl, let her find an uncle with money, he’s still young, and you’re already worrying about family. Although, as for me, it is better to think about a family at this age than when you already have a ring on your finger. Yes, I’m really unsecured, my salary is small, I delayed my higher education, but you have to understand that not everyone’s parents have thought about the future, not everyone is given an apartment or through connections they get a good job after 20 years.

This is the situation. Don’t judge strictly, everyone lives as best they can, but simply give advice or your vision of the situation with the most optimal option for resolving it.

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