I'm tired of living like this, but I don't know how to lose weight

I'm tired of living like this, but I don't know how to lose weight
Photo is illustrative in nature. From open sources.

My name is Nastya, I am 17 years old. The last year of my life has simply thrown me off track. Let me start with the fact that before all the events that happened to me, I was in love with a guy. A 15 year old girl fell seriously in love for the first time. For six months he tormented me with his uncertainty, but in the end we started dating. And guess what? On the very first day of our relationship, I realized that I had fallen in love with this man andI don't need this relationship anymore. It lasted me for a few months and we broke up. The separation was on my initiative, there was no suffering about this, but it was after this moment that mylife began to change for the worse.

At the time when I was in love with this guy, without noticing it, I lost 10 kg. I was always an overweight child and even after losing weight I was not as slim asfriends , but still looked much more attractive and fat, and maybe I couldn’t even be called fat anymore. Of course, I wanted to maintain this result. If I myself didn’t understand how test-antibiotic.com I lost weight, then I wanted to maintain this result by strictly counting calories.

This lasted for two months. And then a sharp breakdown, after which I could not bring myself to take everything in hand again. At first, it wasn’t so scary, but then everything turned into a terrible horror that has been going on for more than a year, to this day. I thought it might be bulimia, but I vomited, as they doI didn’t call any girls with this illness. I can pull myself together for a month at most, and again this vicious circle closes. I'm very worried about my figure.

Surprisingly, I only gained a couple of kilograms, but they also affect my appearance and my self-esteem. I hate myself. I don’t want to go out anywhere, I just cry. I don't know what pushed me to such a life. Perhaps exams at school, entrance exams at college and, in general, quite difficult studies in college had their influence; the approaching session generally puts me in a wild state of horror. How to deal with this?

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