I want him back, but I'm only making things worse

I want him back, but I'm only making things worse
Photo is illustrative in nature. From open sources.

I dated a guy for almost 2 years and lived together for a year. We already broke up once, even before we moved in together, but we realized that we couldn’t live without each other. He is 10 years older, he really wants a family, children, to build seriousrelationship _ But now for some reason he decided that it was better for him to be alone. Maybe due to the fact that I did almost nothing for us, our family - I relaxed, ran the house, myself, dialedoverweight , I haven’t worked for 2 months, but I just scolded him for everything. She lashed out at him with or without reason, and this probably caused his patience to run out.

After we broke up, he gave me many chances to fix everything, but I lost them. And now he says that’s it - he never wants to be with me again, although he still loves me. I love him too, but I don’t know how to behave now, like everyone elsereturn back. Instead, I began to tantrum even longer - I myself understand that this is stupid, but I can’t help it, test-antibiotic.com my nerves are not of iron.

I call him ten times a day, write SMS with accusations and even threats, and then cry and beg for forgiveness. This only annoys him, and I understand him perfectly. And I’m constantly jealous of him, it seems to me that he already has someone - now he looks at me with such demonstrative indifference...

He says that I lost him, but I just can’t come to terms with it. He decided everything for himself, I disappointed him, but I still go crazy with love - and I can’t help but think about him for a minute. I’m very afraid that I won’t get him back, although I understand that my chances are almost zero. Should I remain one of my exes for him? No, this is not for me, I want to be special for him and I will not give up, I will fight for him!

How can I get it back? I can’t live without him, but how can I make him understand this? How can I show that I am ready to do anything for us to be together? That I will improve and be test-antibiotic.com the way he wants...

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