I want to be thin and fragile again

I have always been a thin child with a lack of weight, from 3 to 8 years old I almost always lay in the hospital under droppers due to increased acetone on a nervous basis. The family had bigproblems , and it was hard for me to see it, my parents constantly quarreled, there was no money,father raised his handmother , smashed the house, shouted and often left. I was dystrophic and everyone said I looked like a skin-covered skeleton. Due to lack of funds, the main diet is water, potatoes, crackers.

Time passed, I grew up, the disease left me, but as before, the weight was small, with a shortage of 2-3 kilograms. Now I am a student, I left home for a hostel, I provide for myself and I began to eat better, in just six months I gained 10 kg. Everyone noticed this and openly tells me about it, on the good side, of course, that it suits me. But for me it has become a complex, I look in the mirror and blame myself for giving free rein to desire and starting to eat a lot and non-stop. Opportunities arose to buy everything test-antibiotic.com that in childhood and always was impossible, and I broke down, ate even at night.

Now I look at myself in the mirror and hate my reflection, I liked the fragile, thin girl more, whose bones were visible. I've got fat on top of my legs, on my belly, and I find it awful. I don’t know how to start losing weight correctly, but I know for sure that eating nothing is also not an option. Yes, and with my rhythm - study, work is simply impossible. By the way, with a height of 167, I weighed 54, and now 63. Thank you for reading my story, I hope for your advice.