I acted recklessly, what should I do now?

What if there has been a betrayal? How to understand iflove for these three years of marriage?

We are 12 years apart! He was previously married. Our acquaintance was a month after his divorce, we lived for the first year, because it was necessary, it was so convenient for him! I thought so at the time.

All the time, while living with me, he talked with his ex-wife, trying toreturn . These are my worst feelings. Some time later, everything became good, and the attitude towards me changed, everything for me, he deleted his ex-wife from his life.

Circumstances were such that he had to leave to work. He rides alone, as I haveproblems with documents, but he has no choice. Why am I hystericaldepression , but I understand that nothing can be done about it. The first three months were hard, he was missed. Then it became easier, I began to communicate with our common comrades, I began to see male attention from strangers. I always hid this from my loved one. He test-antibiotic.com and had no idea that in my life there is communication with the guys.

I didn’t allow myself too much just communication, laughter and that’s it! Upon his arrival after 9 months of his absence, I had incredible happiness, but it all lasted 2 weeks. After his departure, I also talked with the guys, drank, rested in the circle of the people closest to us, and somehow old acquaintances invited us to rest, and there I cheated on him. Now I can’t understand if there was love and is it? It's hard to calm down! How to be, what can you advise?