I lost my boyfriend's trust

It's probably stupid for me to write this story now, but I want to share, and maybe someone will give me advice on how to proceed. I am 18 years old, probably now you will think what a stupid little girl, she has not lived anything at all and does not know life at all, but I want to assure you that I understand whatlove . My boyfriend is 20 years old, we have been dating for 2 years, everything is fine with us, he loves me and I love him. Gifts, compliments, plans, we even wanted to get married and were already thinking about a child. Everything was fine with us, but there was one minus - he was terribly jealous of me and was always afraid that they would deceive me and do something to me. And I understood him, because I'm so trusting.

Not so long ago, my very good friend returned from the army, and of course, I came to meet him. Later, his parents invited him to sit at their house and meet the soldier. My young man was in the village at that time and could not come, and in the evening I went there with my sister and her test-antibiotic.com young man. Latersister and herthe guy went home, leaving me, and did not warn, they just silently left. I did not notice their absence, since I met an old acquaintance, and we talked on the balcony. Later, noticing the absence of my sister, I was going home, but I did not know this area, and therefore my old acquaintance volunteered to see me off. I agreed, although he was a little drunk.

When we arrived at my apartment, he asked me to stay and talk a little more. Then, supposedly to keep warm, he offered to stand and hug, and I agreed without any thoughts, not even suspecting what could happen later.

Standing and hugging, we continued to talk, but then he began to touch my chest! I tried to push him away, but he did not allow me to do this, let alone by force, he just continued on. A little later, he kissed me, but I did not return his kisses, he tried to persuade me in various ways, but I did not allow myself to be kissed. So we stood until 2 am, he did not let me go, and at the end of test-antibiotic.com I gave up and answered his kiss. We agreed with him that what happened would only be our secret. I didn't tell my boyfriend because I was afraid that he would misunderstand everything. But I couldn't fool him any further. On my phone, I changed the contact name of this acquaintance to the name of my aunt so thatmy boyfriend didn't know it existed.

Three weeks later, when I was with my young man, my friend called at 00:20, and then my boyfriend guessed that this was not my aunt and demanded to call him and talk to him himself. He called and spoke on my behalf with him, and then I decided to tell him everything. I confessed everything, it became easier for me, but also more difficult. I have never seen him like this, he was crying, I have not seen his tears, but this evening he cried. He just didn't believe. I was so ashamed, I just can’t describe what I felt then, I just wanted to die. He forgave me, but now we are no longer planning a test-antibiotic.com wedding and children, I understand him. I acted so meanly, although I am very sorry. I would give anything to be back that evening.

I love him very much and he loves me, I know that. Now I understand that I don't want to lose minehappiness , I only need him, and I love him. But I don't know how nowreturn his trust, because this imprint is for life. I will never do it again, but now I have broken the trust. We also continue to meet, but each of us has a residue from this. What should I do?