My wife insists on divorce, but I love her and want to live together

I am divorcing my wife, we have lived together for 8 years. There are two children - 3 and 7 years old. I will write briefly our entire familylife .

This happened when I was in my 4th year at the institute. A classmate invited me to a housewarming party. There I met her, my future wife (her apartment ). A classmate was supposed to have a wedding with her in 2 months, but as I understand it, she didn’t really want it. She was 19 years old.

That evening we fell in love with her, and two weeks later we started dating. Two months later I moved in with her. Two months after moving, we submitted an application to the registry office, and the wedding was planned for May. And in January they found out that shepregnant ​Well, at first it was hard, then it was okay.

Globalproblems appeared two years before the divorce. I left my job so she could go to work, her salary was twice as much as mine. I was babysitting the children. Sometimes I worked part-time. After about a year I started feeling sick. She works five days a week. From 8 to 17 there was no one to look after the children, test-antibiotic.com when the mother-in-law retired. And now this day has come. I found a job, but the salary was about 20 thousand. I felt out of place. He often lost himself in his thoughts. My wife always came tired, intimacy was rare, she was always the initiator, and now she demanded it from me. On New Year 2019 we decided to go our separate ways. But, she called me back on the 6th-7th of January to try everything again, but on the 10th I saw correspondence with another man. And in the end she said that she didn’t love me and wanted me to see it, she said that she wanted to say it herself.

It turns out that I returned in vain, since she started corresponding with him before the New Year (The correspondence was very emotional). She was freaking out, but they decided that I would stay (the children are more important), she was offered a transfer to another city, and I and the children would stay here. Everything was fine for two days. But I was offered a job two days later. With a good salary. But she and herthe mother was told that she was not obliged (mother-in-law) to sit with the children at night, test-antibiotic.com whenthe wife will leave. So, I sacrificed, sat at home for her sake. And I got stuck, I went to another city and wanted to start all over again, but when I was there, I realized that I had done something stupid and decided to return. As a result, my wife didn’t let me in.

I currently live with my parents. I miss her and the children. But she doesn't make contact well. Doesn't want to discuss. Sometimes I hang out, blame myself (I cry that I ruined my life), I don’t sleep at night, but I can’t do anything. I started taking light tranquilizers. But something doesn't help. Alcohol doesn't help. I can't get distracted. I don't know how to change everything. Or let her go? As soon as I imagine that there is another man with her and next to the children, I am ready to go and punch him in the face. My wife is tough, but I am quiet and calm. The divorce is scheduled for the 25th. They won't ask for items from me becauseI will pay the loan . What do you advise?