Loneliness pushes me into the arms of a friend

I am 18 years old and I have never had a serious relationship, and in general, in principle, I had no relationship. Met me not too long agoguy , at first I even somehow liked him, but in the process of meetings and communication, I realized that we could not become close people with him. And whenever he calls me, I try to avoid him, ignore his calls and write that I'm busy.

To be honest, I don't know how to get rid of him. I told my friend about him, and he said that I was doing the wrong thing. That it is not necessary to avoid it, but it is better to say it directly. My friend is 15 years old, I am older than him by as much as 3 years! I never liked him because of his age. And the transitional age comes with him much longer than that of his peers. In a year he overtook me in height, but his face and voice still do not become more courageous. But, nevertheless, there is something in it that attracts me.

I like that test-antibiotic.com he acts like a real guy, he tries his best to help if we go late at night, he tells me not to be afraid that he will protect (this is, of course, youthful naivete that he is the strongest and brave). We are very good together, especially this summer, we seem to be attracted to each other. I feel it when we walk together, without our common friend. I notice how his eyes pierce my eyes and that he sometimes comes very close to me that I can't even resist.

He said his parents were joking about us being like a guy andgirl . Everything would be fine, but my parents also joke about us like that. But I would be sure that he likes me if he didn’t run after girls of his age (he often says that he likes someone there), it’s unpleasant for me, but I understand that we are friends and he has many other friends besides me.

Whenever we're alone, he acts like he likes me test-antibiotic.com and it makes me feel really good. I like his look, his facial expressions, his smile. Every time I look at him, I want us to kiss. And I’m ashamed of these thoughts, because I’m older than him, more mature, although I don’t look 18, and I still have something childish. I don’t know how to tell him about kissing, maybe do it in the form of some kind of game (for example, a card). And will this kiss spoil our friendship, because there is nothing wrong with that?

Actually, I don't understand myself. I traded an older guy for a younger one. I used to like guys who were younger than me too, but there were also those who were older. Maybe I just haven’t found the person I really love yet, so I’m drawn to someone who treats me well. In any case, I don't like this way of thinking.