The consequences of my pregnancy at 16 years old

I am 19 years old, yesdaughter . There was a civilian with my daughter's fathermarriage , but we did not live together for long and soon separated. At the moment I havea guy who knows about my child and has serious intentions towards me. I have no doubt about his love. We've known each other for 4 years, we've been dating for a little over a year, but he already wants to marry me. But I don’t have such a desire yet, because... Now I’m sitting at home with my child and studying by correspondence. I’m not in the mood for a wedding right now, to put it mildly.

My earlyPregnancy made everything very difficult, and not only for me. Before that, I was on academic leave for a whole year, because... my parents and the father of the child had to move to another city so that friends, acquaintances, relatives and other curious people would not see me with a belly. It was very embarrassing to be pregnant at 16 years old, but I still decided to give birth, which I now really regret.

I didn’t see any friends or relatives for a whole year. And with my common-law husband test-antibiotic.com there are frequent quarrels, separations, betrayals - I have more than once caught him communicating too intimately on the phone and on social networks with other girls. There was no love between us, just randomsex that led to serious consequences. I don't blame him, because... She herself is exactly as much to blame as he is.

Only my parents supported me, but I was terribly tired mentally, I can’t explain it to someone who hasn’t experienced this. I cried often. Now I moved back after giving birth, I sit at home with the child, do household chores, prepare dinner for my parents who return from work in the evening. I don’t really go out anywhere, either with friends or with a new guy (because I’m embarrassed).

I'm terribly tired of all this. When I see other students my age, so cheerful and carefree, it hurts and saddens me. I'm tormenting myself from the inside, I want everythingreturn and replay, although I understand perfectly well that this is impossible. Previously, when my parents scolded me, I argued, proved that I was right, but now I am silent. I do not care anymore. I feel like something in me is gradually dying out.

I need very little test-antibiotic.com to be happy. I want to feel the studentlife , I want to walk, be free. And I live by reporting every hour to my parents. I'm afraid that if I go outmarried to an unloved man, then my life will continue to be spent at home, surrounded by pots and diapers. But I’m also afraid to refuse, because I think that like him, no one else will love me or accept me with a child. I'm afraid to remain a single mother. Help, please, what to do, what to do?