My parents don't believe in me, so I can't achieve anything in life.
Since childhood, I have been a very withdrawn child, frequent bullying, dysfunctionalthe family contributed to this. I don’t know why, but I’m terribly dependent on the opinions of others! Now I'm 23 years old.
Since childhood I have loved creativity, my passion is to come up with stories, there are just a million of them in my head, the way of expressing them is an absolute difficulty for me! Even though I’m drawing, even though I’m trying to write it, I automatically get the thought in my head: “What if someone sees this and doesn’t like it? What if they laugh? But other writers have much more beautiful writing, I need to write more complexly and longer, more beautiful ethical sentences, but mine turned out crumpled!”
Even if I want to write something on the table, just for myself, nothing happens, all these thoughts automatically pop into my head! And there is no way to get rid of them! As a result, I have a bunch of ideas that have already exceeded several thousand pages in size (this is not bragging, I’m just sure there are at least as many).
But that's not so bad! My family is poor, I can’t work for health reasons (I won’t go into details), and my parents drilled into me from childhood that “if you don’t need it, there’s no point in doing it! ” Creativity for the rich who have nothing to do! You will never become anyone in this field! It would be better if all these scribblers went to work at the factory!”
And I have this internal block in my brain, I absolutely cannot do anything if I know “this won’t bring me money, why waste time?” I don’t hide it, I have a dream of becoming a writer, but because of this fear that they will evaluate me poorly, that they won’t read me, that they won’t accept me into any publishing house, I’m simply afraid to do anything creative. As a result, I don’t do anything anyway and just stare at the computer all day, I’ve been depressed for 1.5 years now. None of my friends have these problems, so they can't help me.
Read together with it:
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