I wanted to be needed

Since childhood, I did not receive proper attention from my parents, they worked all the time, came home tired in the evening, they had no time for me. On weekends, holidays, I went to my grandparents all the time, there I received attention andlove .

And now I’m 34 years old, and I feel lonely, unwanted. I felt the same way when I was a child at home with my parents. Now I’m sitting and thinking, what am I doing wrong, why do I so want this attention from people, love, care?

I'm lonely at heart, I'm used to being alone everywhere. I recently met a man, he is younger than me. We talked to him, since we saw each other in person, he lives 1000 km from me, we justcorrespondence . We've been talking for two months now, and he seems to have developed some feelings. But I don’t believe it, his words are empty words to me. I want actions, because I'm not a girl. But I managed to motivate him to meet, he gave me gifts. And then what, again does test-antibiotic.com need to ask for this attention, communication, again these motivations?

I’m probably too complicated, both for myself and those around me. But I don’t understand what happiness is! Is being needed really what it is? Why I was so lost in this life, I don’t know either.