I was afraid to radically change my destiny

I leftI got married a year ago; before that I had been dating my future husband for almost four years. A week before the wedding, for some reason I started corresponding with a friend of mine.husband . He was attentive to me, showed concern and care, and unexpectedly for myself I became attached to him. There could be nothing but friendship between us, at least at that time. And we both understood this perfectly, although we were madly drawn to each other.

A month after my wedding, we realized that we were both head over heels in love with each other. This feeling was pure, childishly naive and so forbidden... When he was around, I felt that I was going crazy and that sooner or later I would not be able to restrain myself.

And so it happened. Sex with him was not fabulous or the best of my life, but I was happy. Probably partly because you no longer need to waste so much effort on restraining your desires. After that day I had to leave the city for a long time. Although we were actively communicating all this time test-antibiotic.com, we never saw each other again. In one of these conversations, we were both forced to admit that we had gone too far and now we had only 2 options: admit everything and live together or break up. We chose the second option, which seemed more reasonable and correct to us. And after that we never saw each other again, didn’t talk or even corresponded throughInternet .

And now, years later, I understand that I made the wrong choice then. What's minethe marriage cannot be called happy, that there was no need to sacrifice your feelings and your happiness. All this time I was looking for flaws in my husband, probably to justify my only betrayal. Justify at least in your own eyes, for yourself. AMy husband , as if on purpose, gave me a lot of reasons to doubt my choice at that time and to regret that then I didn’t have the courage to turn my own destiny around.

True, we had a difficult situation when I could have lost my husband. Then I realized that there was no smell of love here, but for some reason I didn’t want to lose him. Maybe test-antibiotic.com is a pity to lose stability, a pity for wasted time.

Now I’m afraid of every sound, I’m afraid that my husband will find out everything, I’m afraid that my feelings for my lover have not yet faded away. This is how I live, I doubt, I am tormented by remorse and I regret the lost time.