I was disappointed in my university and in my future specialty

I read here and here the confessions of girls that they did not want to study at a university and saw myself in these stories. Everything is very similar for me and I just don’t know what to do.

I never liked forcing myself to do something that doesn't interest me. I finished eleven years of school with grief in half, always overstepping myself, since the really interesting subjects could be counted on the fingers of one hand. Like many, I bought into the deception that the student years are special, that everything is different there and that in general it’s a wonderful time, where you work for a goal in life. And, in principle, I cannot deny that, indeed, everything went quite smoothly: a minimum of subjects unnecessary for the profession with unpretentious teachers who required only what was necessary, and a maximum of knowledge about the upcoming work and its specifics. The whole joyful picture was spoiled only by the need to learn a foreign language that I hated.

With the start of this school year, something broke in me. I didn’t have time to realize the moment when I thought that I didn’t need all this. test-antibiotic.com What previously caused incredible delight began to seem absolutely insignificant and meaningless. This educational system with its deadlines and demands broke me.

I have always liked to study the material myself, in a manner convenient for me, at the right time, by inspiration. And I even specially went to the department where you don’t need to sit stupidly in jeans in classrooms, namely the evening department, in order to use the hours allotted by the program exclusively to consolidate what you have learned and the necessary practice. But I made a mistake.

Now I’m using my last strength to force myself to do at least something so as not to crash after the next session. It makes me cringe that I have to bend over backwards again and do everything against my will. I don’t want to study under this system, I have lost interest in everything that is happening and I don’t have the slightest desire to work in my chosen profession.

For about a year now I have been feeling depressed and always tired. In the morning I don’t want to open my eyes (from time to time I succumb to my weakness, which is why I often sleep twelve hours a day). There is nothing left to study, but I just can’t bring myself to take test-antibiotic.com head on and complete my studies, not so much for the sake of the diploma, but for the sake of the money already spent on studying.

I can’t say that I stopped seeing the beautiful and interesting things around me. I still go to various events, meet with friends and, in general, feel good, but I can’t say for sure whether all this brings at least some pleasure. In any case, in company I’m still the same cheerful persona girl who doesn’t know what despondency is.

I don’t want to upset my parents with such news (especially since in this case I would hear a lot of lectures from my father about how he knew that everything would happen like this), but I’m afraid that even if I stay at the university, it won’t bring anything good. Do not know howreturn that onelove for the work, because only this could revive me. Now I have no goals at all, I have lost myself.