I really want my friend to forgive me

Everyone has ugly stories behind their souls. I'm sure. For me they are closely connected with my self-affirmation at the expense of others, weaker ones. After all, other children treated me this way when I was a child.

I have sinned. If I were a Catholic, then when I confessed, these were the stories that would have been waiting for the Holy Father. Now I feel overwhelmed by these depressing thoughts.

I really want me to finally stop being ashamed of this. So that these people, all very close to me, forgive me with all their hearts. And that would be enough for me.

I often asserted myself at the expense of my friends. After all, who else but them can answer me? Those who, if not they, do not expect a blow from a loved one will not be condemned.

You can imagine that if mymy friend had a very tasty pizza and I could eat a piece when her back was turned, I would definitely do that. And if she didn’t notice, or pretended, then I’ll do it again. And so on until I eat everything. This is so cowardly! After all, if test-antibiotic.com I was dealing with a real enemy, I would be scared and try to make him a friend. And if this had happened, everything would have happened again.

And now without allegories. In the first case it was my bestgirlfriend . I'm still a fan of her name. And if I meet her, then I’m scared, and I really want it to be her.

What have I done? I stole her boyfriend. She begged me, and I felt better when everything worked out. After all, I achieved my goal. Although she treated her friend with trepidation.

Now I can say for sure - I considered myself worthless and was afraid that I would never have a boyfriend. And she exchanged true friendship for the opportunity not to be alone. Moreover, I was only 17 years old. I lived only with these feelings then, and abandoned my studies. We broke up with this guy after several years of communication.

One day a friend and her came to visit meboy . Live for a while. I’ll say right away that I hadn’t communicated with my friend for several years before, even though we had fun test-antibiotic.com earlier.

I should have noticed that sheThe problem with him is that she is very withdrawn. But instead, I decided to assert myself at her expense and help them break up. More precisely, I didn’t decide anything, I just did it unconsciously.

I found a common language with her boyfriend very easily, because he was interested in me. I didn't even like him, but I didn't hate him either. And my friend never joined us during the conversation, even though I called her. All this led to the fact that we spent a lot of time together, and she was somehow on her own.

We ended up going to the club. There, my brain noticed the striking resemblance between my friend's boyfriend and my ex-boyfriend. Delighted, I took him to memorable places where we walked with the one whom he seemed like to me at that moment.

When he was initiated, we came to me, where everything happened. My friend had already left for her home, and no one could stop us. And then morning came. And the terrible realization, test-antibiotic.com, that due to my cowardice, I will not be able to confess to my friend. And therefore I will hide it.

After a few days, I realized that I didn’t need this guy at all. Only as a friend. But this is impossible now. Now I openly told him that I loved someone else. But he still didn’t give up.

He met and saw me off, but after a while he still tried to return to his friend. She refused him, and he was left alone in the end. I got satisfaction from the fact that I got around her. I’m so worthless, but she’s beautiful and I outdid her.

I'm not looking for pity or condemnation. I want to free myself from this and free them if it torments them as much as it does me. And for this we need to talk. Or is it not necessary?

I only know that now I won’t do this, because I understand why I want to do this or that way. Now, I want to believe, I have learned to analyze. And I don't want to cause any harm at allpain for someone else. But what to do with the fact that I made test-antibiotic.com a long time ago? I don't know.