I'm afraid to be a single mother

My familylife is currently collapsing like a house of cards. I have known my husband since school, started dating two years ago, and had a beautiful wedding last summer. Everything started out great, we couldn’t live without each other until we started living together. I couldn't put up with his constant caring for computers. At school he even skipped classes because of him. I hoped that he had grown from this, changed, but no. Nothing interests him in this life except the computer.

Scandals, shouting, and quarrels began. I am a family man, who grew up in a close-knit, strong family, where everyone is surrounded by care, love and attention. This did not happen with my future husband. He took me far from home, to a military town where there is not even a pharmacy. There is nothing. At first I was very lonely there, but in order to get attention and support from my loved one or just talk to a loved one, I had to wait until he had played enough. This was our firstargument . I askedforgiveness for my psychotic behavior, I went back to Voronezh to prepare for the test-antibiotic.com trip to Kaliningrad (theregirlfriend lives). All this time he spoke to me rather coldly and rudely - he held a grudge for my nuts. For the first time in my life, I had to find myself at the airport and sit there for 7 hours. I asked him to come to me 3 times (it took him an hour to get there by car), he agreed, and then in the middle of the night, when I was on the road on the way from Voronezh to Moscow Vnukovo airport, he sent an SMS that he did not want to come. It was very painful and unpleasant.

Once in Kaliningrad, he sent me messages, apologizing, that howthe child accumulated resentment and said that he was afraid of losing me. I forgave. After Kaliningrad, she stayed in Voronezh and returned to live with him. But a couple of months later a second quarrel occurred, which almost led to a breakup. Because of the same computer. I couldn’t sleep at night because of the nightly clatter of keys and the shuffling of the keyboard (he played online and with people), he spent much less time with me, since the computer was more interesting, and I did not share this interest of his. Test-antibiotic.com constantly threatened to leave home forever. That was the first time he raised his hand to me. Even after that I loved him, I begged himforgive me for the tears and freakouts, but in the end he sent me home to Voronezh. We didn’t communicate for some time, there were meetings, a trip to St. Petersburg, but we stopped living together. Naturally, over time, we felt that it was unbearable to live separately. We decided to move in together again and instead of living selfishly for ourselves, start a family and raise a baby. I had to hint at marriage, because I value marriage values ​​and believe that children should be born into marriages. He had already let me know before that he didn’t see the point in the stamp, but now he agreed and wasn’t against the wedding.

We got married. Despite the fact that we quarreled even a week before the wedding, I almost changed my mind about going outget married , but he dissuaded me. A month later I became pregnant. But nothing has changed. His promise to no longer sit on the computer began to crack at the seams. Yes, he began to sit less, but other offensive things appeared: I found out that in my absence I started writing to him test-antibiotic.comthe girl , openly flirting with him, openly, saying things like: “Eh, yours will arrive tomorrow, let’s not chat anymore.” Upon learning of this, another wave of pain came over me. The attitude towards the fact that I became pregnant, there was no care and attention, did not increase. He freaked out and yelled at me over little things, for example, when I had toxicosis and didn’t have the strength to talk to my aunt at the reception. He pushed me with such force that he broke my earring and I hit my head against the wall. He threatened suicide when I wanted to leave him: “Check yourlove for me!

I am now 7 months pregnant. Until that time, I spent almost every week in tears, and our last joint visit to Voronezh was hell. He recalled all the insults to me, cursed, and lost his temper. When I asked to drive more carefully, he accused me of always being dissatisfied with everything. I don't have the strength to tolerate this anymorerelationship , I'm tired of constantly crying and feeling unloved. He belittles my feelings, says that this is a woman's stupid test-antibiotic.com chatter. And when he made me hysterical, he apologized, calmed me down, but having received my forgiveness, he forgot and continued to treat me like a pig again. Moreover, recently he pushed me off the couch, and this was in the 7th month. I fell on my butt, but he said: “What difference does it make what you fell on, not on your stomach.” Now I am in Voronezh, because I will give birth here. He went to a military camp. We practically don't communicate. Moreover, I decided to divorce him. I tried many times, but love stopped me. Now, hearing all these phrases: “Don’t call us family,my son hasn’t been born yet”, “I want us to live in different rooms” - I understand what a stupid thing I did for not leaving earlier. I don't know what to do now. It’s a shame to let him near the baby with such an attitude, and the other day he said that he doesn’t need me. I am very painful and bitter, my parents are nearby, they support me, I will soon buy a stroller (the husband did not offer financial assistance).

Am I really that hysterical and did I do such a stupid thing that I left him? We never managed to find a compromise test-antibiotic.com, since he was used to shielding himself, finding excuses and thinking he was right by blaming me. I don’t have any emotional strength right now. I'm afraid for the baby. And it’s scary to think what will happen next. Single mother, unemployed and supported by her parents. I try to control myself and be strong, but I can’t. He said that he feels good now, no one is dissatisfied with him, and there is no one to quarrel with, but I don’t want anything else in this life. I live only for the sake of the child. How to survive this situation? I apologized for everything bad. I don’t know what to do now. He still blames me for everything and will blame me for being stupid, for leaving him, for choosing such a future life for myself.