I can't find my place in society

It started when I was 11 years old, now I’m 15. From the very moment I began to perceive this world and take other people’s opinions to heart, I began to doubt that anyone needed me like that (that is, not like everyone else) .

When communicating with friends, nothing goes well for me, because everyone is interested in one thing, and I am completely different. I don’t understand their conversations and jokes, and they don’t understand mine. And so, in order to “merge with the crowd,” I decided to do everything like everyone else. It’s stupid, you might think, and I agree with that, but I just wanted to be needed.

I began to take a closer look at my peers and tried to do everything like they did: I decided to watch a couple of films that they were so happy to discuss, but they did not impress me, I began to often scroll through my social media feeds. networks and join groups in which my friends are in order to understand what interests them, as everyone does now. I started a personal diary and started, like everyone else, buying all sorts of nonsense for it (adhesive tape, stickers, etc.) test-antibiotic.com making notes, pasting in receipts, although it seemed to me that this was the stupidest thing you could spend money on your time.

Words from youth slang began to appear in my vocabulary (again, I didn’t see any fun in this, but I wanted to be on the same wavelength with everyone). And in the end, nothing worked out, so they didn’t accept me as a “True Friend”. But now I understand that I was just mocking myself, and no one, as before, cared.