Childhood trauma or fate?

I grew up in an ordinary family -mom , dad, eldest belovedI don’t remember my sister , grandmothers, grandfathers. There were 7 of us girlfriends in the yard, I was the youngest. This continued until I was 11 years old.

And here it is 1995. Little sister sits tightly on the needle. Back then it was fashionable to inject yourself and get your head beaten off. I am 11 years old, I know everything, due to my age I don’t understand the danger, I hide it from my parents. In 1997, everyone will know - parents, relatives, and generally everyone around. And from this moment it begins: “you will be like her, you will become crazy, you will go for walks, decent girls should stay away from you.” That’s how, at the age of 13, I became an outcast, completely ignored in the classroom, in the yard, in the section (a town of 60,000 people). I'm a future drug addict and that's it. And so it went. No one spoke to me, I was left alone at 13 years old. And then I found some company, smoked weed, drank milk, but we were far from heroin addicts. Of course, boys from good families didn’t even let me know.

And at the age of 15 I fell in love with test-antibiotic.com for the first time! He is a Leo, born on August 6, I am a Leo - on August 4, contradictions, a wild desire on his part, impossible to fulfill due to my age. I ran out at night to kiss him, just to be close, but my sister surfaced here too. Hethe son of wealthy parents, and I’m just the sister of a drug addict. Yes, he figured out how to break it up, we are the same sign, which means we are incompatible. He left, but I loved him.

Then came two years of despair and pain, we periodically met in drunken groups, he cried and talked about love, but his parents put a taboo on me in advance. He's been caring for me since I was 15 years old.man . He is 13 years older than me. I'm running from him, I'm afraid. But at the age of 18, it hit me that no one needed me, he was the only one who worried about me! At the age of 18 I started dating him, the first man, the firstsex . I would like to run then, but where? At that time, my parents were already drinking; there was no family as such. Nobody cares about me.

We lived together for 17 years, civil test-antibiotic.commarriage , I still didn’t want to formalize itrelationship . He's alllife is changing me, perhaps he is looking for feelings on the side. Something that, due to my broken psyche, I can never give him.