The story of my drunken life

Everyone says thatThere is no cure for alcoholism - that's true. The truth is because there is no way andmedicine to cure it. Until a person himself wants to get rid of it. And just when he realized that this was ruining himlife , then you need to pull yourself together and give up on it, or seek help from loved ones.

I’ve been using it this way since I was 20. With friends, on holidays, with or without any reason. Then I started drinking with my husband whengot married . He was a fan of such events. At home, to the music, where everyone was his own, sometimes his friends would come in with an extra dose of booze. So I became addicted to alcohol.

We lived and never missed a single weekend or holiday. Then the drinking sessions began for 2 or even 3 days. After 3 years we divorced. But I loved to drink with or without reason. And so I started visiting the local beer joint. Many friends from our area gathered there. Girls and boys, single, married, married, men, grandfathers and so on. Everyone knew each other because test-antibiotic.com were local.

There I started a group of people with similar interests and visited almost every evening after work. Drankevery day . Then I connected my life with an alcoholic like me. He worked for a month and drank for two; during this time I managed to work two jobs - I very soon lost one of them precisely because of absenteeism due to drunkenness. Life was not interesting when it was tormentinghangover , I wanted to die. I was just terribly sick from the hangover, it seemed to me that I was about to die. Before my eyes, my roommate had a seizure due to drinking, it really scared me, but I didn’t stop drinking. Now the hangover has added to the illnessfear of death.

Several more years passed like this. I was coded twice of my own free will, but it didn’t help, I went to a psychologist, but all his words seemed ridiculous and worthless to me. I tried to take a drug that supposedly discourages taking italcohol _ It didn’t help and I continued drinking.

Once, after another violent drinking session, when I had already recovered from a hangover,my father asked test-antibiotic.com if I was tired of drinking and if I wanted to go to a rehabilitation center? Naturally, by that time I was tired and had difficulty, but I agreed. A train ticket was immediately purchased. The train was leaving tomorrow. I started getting ready. They assured me that I would stay there for 1-2 months and return home. I didn’t know what to take with me, I had no idea what I could take with me to such a place. As a result, linen, toiletries, and old pants and a jacket (for a change) were collected. For some reason I also wore a medical gown, probably because I associated the rehabilitation center with a hospital. They took me to the station and I went.

I arrived in another city. The agreement was that they would meet me at the station and take me to the place. I was alone at the station; there were no more people around. It was evening. I was terribly hungry, but they didn’t give me any money to take with me. I sat there for about 20 minutes, when suddenly a man came into the station premises.man about 40. “Are you going to the center?” - he asked. I test-antibiotic.com nodded my head, and we went to the car. He helped load the bag into the trunk, I sat in the back seat and we drove off. There was another man in the car. The second one was younger, about my age - about 30. They started asking me about life, about all sorts of nonsense, and laughed. And I sat and thought where they were taking me and what was happening.

I arrived in a strange city, got into a car with two strangers, and now I’m driving, I don’t know where or why. In general, I had no choice, in a foreign city, without money, where would I go? On the other hand, I thought that my parents called, looked for the center, made an agreement, so everything should be fine. Just in case, I reached into my purse and hid my passport in the back pocket of my jeans. They didn’t answer the questions about where we were going and how much longer to go, but just laughed and said: “We’ll arrive right now, you’ll see everything.” We drove like this for two hours.

Well, here we are approaching. It was dark outside, late evening, winter. From the silhouettes of wooden houses, I realized test-antibiotic.com that we were in some kind of village. We arrived at a large wooden gate covered in black spray paint. I couldn’t make out what was written. We went inside. Small room like a kitchen, a lot of people,girls , guys. The girls are very young, from 18 to 25 years old. Well, I think it’s all there – a den of clean water. Everyone is dressed in some kind of old clothes. A “room” type room measuring 4 by 4 meters, it looks clean, but everything is old, it’s clear that the house is old and no renovations have been done there for a long time. The room has a lot of two bunk beds and is smoky. Then I counted, there were 14 beds. So few beds in such a square footage! I'm shocked. I'm really hungry.

They sat me on a chair in the middle of the “room.” They began to ask what and how, what she used, whether she was injecting drugs. They introduce themselves, “Hi, I’m Olya, a drug addict.” I think it’s terrible, a girl of 17-18 years old says that she is a drug addict! How so? At that age and already... And then, it seems like I came to recover from alcoholism! My opinion about the brothel changed dramatically, now I thought I was in a sect. It’s not even better, test-antibiotic.com in the sect is much more dangerous. When I said that I came for a month or two, they laughed, then they said that no one leaves here after serving only a month. It was approaching dinner, and at the command of their man we went to the table.

The first few days I was in shock. We lived in that same room, 14 female people. Several males lived in the neighboring house (I don’t remember exactly how many there were, in my opinion, about 10 people). Girls and boys were forbidden to communicate with each other. It was also forbidden to go beyond the fence; many things were forbidden. We lived according to a schedule, ran in the morning, went to the ice hole. Yes, yes - in winter we went and plunged into the ice hole. This was mandatory and not discussed - if you are sick, go and take a dip anyway! They ate what they put on the table, cigarettes were provided - 1 pack per day per person. I had no contradictions with all this. And I thought it was useful that we went to the ice hole, and exercise and running on test-antibiotic.com in the morning - all this was normal, and the food was pretty decent. The fact that we worked (sawed wood, cleared snow, looked after the animals that were kept there (chickens, pigs, sheep) - I also considered this the norm. After all, we lived there and, therefore, had to ensure cleanliness and order for ourselves, and I'm going.

The girls there were decent, but I didn’t want to be friends with them - at first. Making friends means having confidential conversations, telling something about yourself, and I was absolutely not interested in knowing about them. The main thing there was a consultant - a person who had already been “cured” and volunteered to stay longer to help others. Everyone was a drug addict, and only I was an alcoholic. And everything would be fine. But they didn’t have a single specialist there (medical, psychologist) - this was incomprehensible to me. What if something happens? And it’s not close to the hospital.

One day another girl was brought to us. A girl with a temperature of 39, when they measured it, I was scared! She began to persuade the consultants to give her at least a tablet test-antibiotic.com for fever; in the first aid kit there was only activated charcoal and plasters (disposable ones for cuts). The next day after the morning jog, everyone had to dive into the river, she begged not to force her to do this, because she already ran with a fever, and also into the river (it was October). They swore at me and almost forcibly sent me into the river. Thank God, everything worked out later.

They brought the guy and lived for 10 days in the boys’ barracks. After 10 days, they suddenly found out that he had turboHIV! And he lived with them for 10 days and ate from the same plate! They then sent him to the local tuberculosis clinic. By the way, they took us all for fluorography, but this was a few weeks after the “arrival”. We had another outrageous case. A girl arrived with tuberculosis (closed form). She had her daily pills with her. After some time, realizing what was happening here and that there was no way out, she took a loading dose of these pills! They called an ambulance and pumped him out. The ambulance, of course, took a long time to get from the regional center, but they made it in time.

In general, there was still a lot of test-antibiotic.com that was incomprehensible; all their rules and activities were incomprehensible to me. The phrases were simply infuriating. For even the slightest offense, we wrote some phrases taken from some book. For example, if you are on duty and announce events like “work”, “lunch”, “smoke break”, and are 30 seconds late (well, announced 30 seconds later) - you must write 100 such phrases at the end of the day, before going to bed, when there are no events. And you can accumulate so much of this writing throughout the day that you will write all night. And in the morning there is a signal to exercise, go for a run, etc. without getting any sleep. And you had to present the writings to the consultant, so, they say, you wrote as much as necessary. Many years have passed since I visited there, but I still don’t understand why they didn’t let us sleep? Everyone was responsible for someone's mistake. If someone started making a fuss and arguing with the consultant, everyone went for a run; if they slept while walking, they went for a dip in cold water.

A month passed, each day was similar to the previous one. It wasn’t boring, we test-antibiotic.com either ran until we dropped, or swam in the cold river. At night they wrote together, then nodded off the next day - they ran, swam, ran, swam. At times it was unbearable. The consultants swore at us and called us unpleasant names. They forced me to say that I was a drug addict, an alcoholic (although I had never been a drug addict and had never even tried drugs). Well, okay, no one had a way out anyway, since it was almost impossible to escape from there. We didn't have TV or radio. We didn’t know what was going on in the world. So, only if the consultants told me something, and then not always. Phones were not allowed to be used; they were confiscated upon arrival and stored somewhere. Documents were also confiscated. It was impossible to escape, although some managed.

One night I climbed out the window and left, sat there waiting for everyone to go to bed, pretended to write my phrases, and then ran away. They found me, less than a day later, I was hiding in a neighboring village with some people who, out of sympathy, allowed me into their house. I don’t know how I was identified, but test-antibiotic.com was found and brought back. The scandal was such that it was simply terrifying. Then I spent 3 days digging a hole, no matter if it was raining, windy, or snowing. They only took me out to eat, and there was always a “supervisor” standing nearby so that she could dig and not just sit there. We communicated with relatives through letters and were not allowed to call. Our letters were read before being passed on to our relatives. It was forbidden to complain or talk about what was happening here. If there were parcels, they were opened and checked.

Time passed, and I still didn’t understand what they wanted from me. There were classes and lectures about human feelings. Constantly asking: “how do you feel?” We wrote works about our past, about drug use, about how much harm we had done and to whom, and how we felt about it. Then they told the public about all this. It was embarrassing to talk about this. I thought, well, if it’s necessary, it means it’s necessary, so it will be of some benefit to me. But I didn’t understand the point. The consultants either did not understand all this themselves, or were unable to explain. We also had entertainment. About 2 times a week, test-antibiotic.com, we had singing and writing poetry for 1 hour. We sang everything we knew; they had some lyrics to old songs. And so we tried to reproduce music with our mouths.

So about 5 months passed. I’ve already gotten used to everything, I’ve made friends with some of the girls, and I’ve come to terms with my long stay in the center. One day I got sick. Not that I got sick, but I discovered that there were somehealth problems . So, I turned to a consultant for help. She promised that we would go to the hospital. I waited a week, then another, silence. I waited some more, then turned to her again and waited again. There was no answer. Finally (2 months later!) I was taken to the regional center to get tested. And again the waiting. After all, all this is not done so quickly in the villages. The doctor said that everything was very suspicious, prescribed some pills and sent me to wait for the test results. Another month has passed.

One day our consultant came on shift and told me that he had stopped by the clinic, tests had come back, and that I had been diagnosed with cancer. I wasn’t upset, I test-antibiotic.com didn’t understand why people consider cancer a fatal disease. And now I don’t understand either. As soon as this diagnosis is announced to a person, he is immediately going to die! All the girls started pestering me and asking “how are you?”, “aren’t you afraid?” Of course, I understood their concern and desire to help at least with words, because... they imagined how they themselves would react to such news, but I am not them, and I reacted completely differently. And then, I didn’t understand what I needed to be afraid of? Because I didn't intend to die.

Consultants and other individuals from the center’s management did not discuss my health problem with me. And it seemed that this topic was not touched upon once again. In the evenings, when I went to bed, I often thought about my diagnosis, thinking about what the doctors would do with me next. Out of ignorance, it seemed to me that they would perform an operation, cut out the tumor and send me either home or again to a rehabilitation center. I really didn’t want to go to the center again, and besides, I missed my family and home. I often test-antibiotic.com imagined how I would find myself at home, sleep in my crib, and wash myself in the bathroom. I'll sit at the computer.

One day the “main” consultant came to us. An arrogant and boorish guy. He came to lecture everyone (he appeared about once a month). It was evening, everyone gathered in the room, he had a conversation, and at the end I decided to askThe question is , when will they take me tohospital treatment ? Because after they told me about the tests and diagnosis, more than a week has passed. Well, I've heard enough of this! He began accusing me of all my sins, insulting me in front of everyone, saying that I had been “out for a bit” somewhere, and now I demand something from him. I was shocked! After all, oncology is not sexually transmitted! And I didn’t sleep with just anyone. In general, after another 3 days I was finally sent to the city, to the hospital.

I was happy that I left this place. Having been there for 8 months, I still did not understand the essence of this program. In general, draw your conclusions, gentlemen.