How to help yourself?

I am 48 years old. I have been twicemarried , has two adult daughters. The firstmy husband died in Chechnya. With my six-year-old daughter and relatives, we moved to another country 23 years ago, where we live now. I got out here for the second timegot married , had a second onedaughter .

The marriage was unhappy, we lived together for almost 17 years. People different in almost all aspects. I built myself, as I realized too late, a completely wrong family model. I suffered, I can’t adequately explain why so many years. We coincided in one thing with my ex-husband - a common cause for earning money and a decent material base. That’s what everything rested on.

My husband deceived me, as it turned out constantly, the betrayals were also regular. I broke myself, I wanted the children not to need anything. As a result, on one day, 6 years ago, two very difficult events - a diagnosis with a serious result and a disappointing prognosis and 5 hours later a statementhusband that he is leaving for another woman who is expecting his child.

The world collapsed. I didn't remember anything for three days after that, then the clinic, the operation, and that's it. After test-antibiotic.com the hospital, no housing, no furniture, no money, no work. I survived, chemotherapy and the abyss are ahead. Boxes with kitchen utensils, a 14-year-old child in shock. The first step: I sold the gold jewelry that my ex-husband didn't take away, and spent it onmoney 2 weeks lived in a hotel. Hopelessness and despair for two days. Then, tearing out a clump of hair and literally squeezing out thoughts of the end, she made a plan. Throughpain and tears.

I won't describe what I had to go through, it's scary to remember, but I "rose from the ashes." With odd jobs, even far from having recovered, I rented a room in a cheap hostel, started studying to have certificates for a decent job. It worked out. Randommeeting a man after 1.5 years turned my consciousness upside down. We fell in love with each other. I have had my own for 3.5 years now.apartment and a good job, I work at customs. Myman with me, harmony andthe love I've been dreaming about my whole lifelife .

But a cloud came, apparently, into my soul. He had a rather rich love life before me, he is almost the same age, 2 years younger. I do not regret a single moment with him. From the very beginning and until now he is near, and his hand holds mine. Everything changed in November 2022. He went to visit his mother for 2 weeks. At that moment, I don’t know how to explain it, I got sick, not understanding what was happening to me, shaking and a nightmare, until he arrived. There was a clear feeling of deception. And I got into his phone. And so it is, after leaving here, a call to a woman, then during the week their video and audio calls and joint photos in the mountains.

I immediately confessed my torment and that I had read the correspondence and seen the photo. He denied everything. He said that the woman had been married for a long time and that he hadthe relationship was a long time ago, but she still remembers him. In connection with her, he denies. But I don't believe it! I understood from the correspondence that the relationship is warm and before leaving here, they wrote to each other how hard it is for him and he doesn't want to leave and that a week is not enough.

Again a breakdown. I can't get it out of me. He hasn't changed towards me, but I can't trust him.

It turned out to be a mess, but my soul aches.