A sharp turn in my bland life

I got married at 19, it was my firstman . Storm of emotions,Love . After some time, the first love passed, the veil fell. I began to understand thatMy husband is quite a heavy person, and there was no satisfaction in bed either. That was the first time I had a serious conversation with him, but there was no reaction.

I endured and was silent. Then there was another conversation, and another, and another, I suggested contacting a psychologist. And again, a lot of negativity and nagging, that the problem is with me, they say, I don’t like it, change your behavior both in bed and in general. And I fell silent and endured.

Over time, everything became indifferent. I stopped saying and explaining anything, just so as not to quarrel. They bought things for the apartment that he likes, food that he likes, and so on. The bed faded away, I felt disgusted when he touched me. There were no kisses and caresses at all. He was offended, I spoke openly, but I didn’t want anything anymore and he probably didn’t either. Although he constantly said that he loved him.

Inside test-antibiotic.com I was frozen, everything became uninteresting, I stopped communicating with friends, I was more silent in groups, bored and insipid, I practically didn’t talk to my husband, although he chatted incessantly. Books saved me; I could read for hours without getting up. Games saved him. And from the outside it’s perfectfamily , together all the time. He is so caring and loves me, and walks with the child. It was disgusting to the point of nausea, but I endured it.

By the age of 30, my husband began to insist on a second child -Our daughter is growing up, and in our old age we will be alone. I agreed, the biological clock was ticking, and I gave birth to twins. The husband has generally become an ideal for many, a large family. I spat on us, because for a woman the most important thing is children. Onlymy friend knew how bad I was. She got drunk and cried like a beluga. And then she put on a smile and came home, counting the days until old age. When it will be possible not to leave the house at all, there will be no one to see.

Once a relative called tobirthday husband . I didn’t want to go and was even about to refuse. But at the last moment we went. We sat, ate, drank, talking about nothing, only relatives at the table. test-antibiotic.com Quiet, peaceful. And then the niece says that her colleague will come with her son. Such a wonderful person says. I was really angry, I don’t like strangers. And she came, I looked into her eyes... and drowned. I suddenly realized that this was my loved one. I was scared. I stared at her like a fool all evening, then we danced with her. And she said, "Call me." I ran after her to the toilet, and we kissed like crazy.

The husband saw everything, got ready and went home. Then there was a conversation, I honestly said that I was drawn to her, that it was not just like that.

We've been seeing her for three weeks now. My husband knows and endures, asks me not to act rashly, that he loves me and is ready to change. She says that she loves me too and will accept my any decision. And I'm confused. On the one hand, 18 years of marriage and children, on the other, my family and friends. We live in a small town and theserelationships will hit the children first. But I no longer want to live in the test-antibiotic.com shell. Of course, it's her own fault.