I love a guy, but my faith doesn't allow me to be with him

Let me first tell you a little about myself. I grew up as a sickly child. She was quiet and shy. My parents constantly tormented me. They took us to doctors and healers. ButThe treatment didn't help much. They often prayed and attended churches. Gradually I got involved. In general, we have a normal Orthodoxfamily . By the age of 8, I already knew the gospel and could calmly read the psalter from memory. My upbringing was strict in the family, but I was constantly spoiled a little.

I had a hard time at school. I didn't understand children. I looked for answers to all my questions in the Bible. Later, in high school, guys tried to court me, but my parents always advised me to look for a believing guy. There were few of them there, but they constantly sinned and pushed me away with this. After graduating from school, I entered college. But I didn’t find a worthy match there either. My father decided to help me and invited his friends’ family to visit. They came with their son, my age. He's a pious guy . We talked about various topics. He made a good impression on me. Our parents were happy. We started dating. We even kissed test-antibiotic.com a couple of times.

Kirill was good to everyone. Polite, smart. He completed his studies at the theological seminary. But I didn't like the fact that he was very fat. I advised him to lose weight, but he said it was better for him. He will look more impressive this way. Then I went for a summer internship in a small village. Kirill called and wroteevery day . I thought I would come and marry himmarried _ Even if I don’t love him, I don’t want to be alone. Otherwise, we would have lived together for several years, and there would have been alove . But chance changed everything.

I went for a walk after classes with the children and saw two guys fencing with wooden swords in a forest clearing. Both are tall and handsome. I admired them for a long time. They fought with full force. Laughed. Then they sat down to rest and saw me. We greeted each other politely. Their names were Andrey and Peter. I asked why they tortured themselves like this. They just laughed and said they liked it. Then they walked me home. Along the way, I learned that they were brothers. Andrey was married and lived test-antibiotic.com in the village, and Peter was a military man. He served under a contract and came on vacation. Peter invited me to meet in the evening. I refused. But in the evening he came to the house where I lived and asked me to go out for a minute. The hostess, laughing, told me not to get lost,He is a good guy and will not offend himself and will not give offense to others. I left. We sat. We talked. He turned out to be a wonderful conversationalist and a gallant gentleman. He said goodbye to me and asked permission to come again. I allowed it.

A little time passed and I realized that I loved him, but I was afraid to admit it. But he himself took the initiative. Kissed me. He asked for his hand in marriage. Everything was wonderful until we went to the river together. He undressed and I saw that everything was histhe body is covered with pagan tattoos. On the chest instead of a cross there is a pagan amulet. I asked him what religion he was. He replied that he was a Rodnover. I was horrified. I just ran away from him. I packed my things and went home. He found me. We walked along the embankment with Kirill. He came up and demanded test-antibiotic.com an explanation why I left. Kirill immediately became jealous and attacked him with his fists. And he received such a rebuff that he ran away with tears and curses. It was a disgusting sight. And Peter stood and waited for an answer. I said I couldn't live with a heretic. He laughed and just walked away.

Now I don't know what to do. Kirill disgusts me. I want to be close to Peter. I love him. I know that he loves me. But he will never change.