Mother understands that I have not forgiven her

I've always heard thatMom is sacred and must be loved. I love minemother , but I can'tforget the hurt she caused me.

When I was six years old, I decided that I wanted to become an artist. While my mother was at work and my grandmother was minding her own business, I put on my mother’s makeup and tied a beautiful silk scarf. Then I prepared a stage for myself from sofa cushions, decorated the room and even wrote my first ever poem about my mother. I imagined that she would come, and here I was all so beautiful, I would recite a poem, my mother would cry with happiness and pride for herdaughter and will clap her hands.

She worked hard. I remember how I missed her and constantly waited for her. I hoped that my performance and poem would touch her, and we would talk, play and hug all evening.

And when my mother came, she saw the mess and me, smeared with her makeup. She didn't even let me recite the verse. For half the evening I listened to how stupid I was, how there was only one twist in my head, why she got such a good-for-nothing daughter. What kind of artist am I, they won’t even hire me as a janitor. I cried for the second half of the evening, but she didn’t see it because she went to “relieve stress” with a friend.”

The resentment still lives inside me. All the time I subconsciously try to prove to my mother that I am not stupid, that I can succeed. That is why I became a lawyer (for my mother this is the most respected and profitableprofession ), but I don't like the job. Of course, I don’t want to be an artist, but I enjoy working with children. I like to draw and do various crafts. I didn’t even think about studying to become a teacher; my mother condemned “beggar teachers.”

We never remember that incident from my childhood, but I feel that my mother remembers this episode of “upbringing.” I don’t know whether she repents or not, but she understands that I still have a grudge against her. We don’t have a trusting relationship or intimate conversations with her. She lives alone, I bought myself an apartment, my mother realized that I did not want to be with her and did not insist. I am very test-antibiotic.com sorry that we are strangers to each other.