The only thing holding me back is the fear of losing my children.

I've been a member of Alcoholics Anonymous for a year now. I'm scared to even think what will happen if I break again. I am ashamed and sad about this.

I have been married for a little over seven years. My husband and I met at work and almost immediately began to live together. We didn’t have a magnificent wedding, we quietly signed, but after a year of living together, I noticed that myhusband began to get involved in alcoholic beverages. First it was birthdays and holidays, then weekends. I put him before a choice - me or vodka, and he managed to limit her intake. We have twin boys. We doted on them, but it so happened that one of the sons was diagnosedhearing problems . The husband considered this an occasion to go on a drinking binge.

Two years passed and my husband passed away. Once, having got drunk in the evening, he simply did not wake up in the morning. I was left alone with two children and decided that comfort was best sought at the bottom of a glass. I didn't remember how it sucked me in. That's when social workers came to test-antibiotic.com. They threatened to take my boys. The fear of losing my children sobered me up. I pulled myself together and stopped drinking. But the next birthday of my sons showed how all this is not easy, and I started drinking again. And they took my children.

One terrible day they just came and took them away. With grief, I plunged into the realm of oblivion with the help of alcohol. I don't know how much longer this would have gone on if one man at the bus stop hadn't helped me. He saw me and heard the clink of bottles in the bag. It turned out that my interlocutor was a former alcoholic, but he managed with the help of a specialized club. That's how I found out about Alcoholics Anonymous. I complained to him that my children were taken away from me, and I want tostop drinking , but I can't. The man offered his help, and I agreed. Then he just took my bag and threw it in the trash. Hand in hand, we walked. It turned out that to his home. There my new friend fed me and put me to bed. In the morning my head was splitting, and test-antibiotic.com I could only think of one thing. But the man in every possible way did not let me out of the apartment to the store. First I asked, then demanded and threatened. But he reminded me of children and I just burst into tears. I realized that I had not cried for a very long time, that I preferred to drown my grief rather than cry it out.

So I stayed with him. When the opportunity to think soberly returned to me, we went with him to this very club of anonymous alcoholics. At first, I thought it was so stupid. I did not believe that simple conversations could help me and people like me. But it turned out that it is quite real. And now, after six months of my visit to the club and my sobriety, I turned to the social service with a requestgive me back my children. Of course, I had to prove my ability to educate them. But a new job and a sober lifestyle took their toll. My sons were returned to me.

And now I haven’t been drinking for a year now, I’m proud of myself, but at the same time I’m insanely scared. I'm scared as hell to snap and lose my kids again. In the test-antibiotic.com store, I walk past the alcohol aisles with my eyes closed. I always have a photo of my children in my wallet, and as soon as even the slightest temptation appears in me, I take it out and see what I can lose. By the way, my friend who helped me broke down and started drinking again. Now it's my turn to help him, but so far I'm not good at it. I'm not asking for advice, I'm just talking.