We were made for each other

Then I was 21. Young, perky, with a good, albeit slightly plump, figure of very seductive shape. She enjoyed success with men of all ages and was never deprived of attention. Unlike most of my peers, I believed that I didn’t need marriage now, and therefore fans and lovers were permanently present in my life. No, you don’t need to think that I’m fidgety, accessible or clueless. But during this period of life I wanted to laugh, fall in love and dance. And the adultthe life of serious people is what I will come to anyway. But later.

He was 33. Not that old, but not small either. A former athlete, not too tall, but with my sixty-five feet, I could easily afford high heels without towering over him. Thick build (a mark of athletic youth, not intemperance in food). Cheerful, with a wonderful sense of humor. Enjoying great success among women of absolutely all ages. He won me over not at first sight, and not even at second. For more than a year we were just colleagues. I sympathized with him, test-antibiotic.com no more.

When and why did everything change? Influence of circumstances. The need to stay late at work together, when without my work he will not finish his, and mine is the last stage in the process, and needs to be completed today. We somehow immediately agreed thatOur relationship is without obligation, as long as both are interested in it. And given his reputation as a womanizer, I initially had no illusions. And then there wassex . Such that it is impossible to fully describe. When thoughts and feelings melt. When the whole world shrinks to a tiny point in the solar plexus area, unbearably shining with a myriad of colors, in a short moment exploding with a force equal to the force of the birth of a new universe. And every time it is both complete devastation and overcrowding. No need to ask me how this is possible. Each time I died with him and was born again. I tried to convince myself that it was because of the newness of the sensations. I repent, how sinful I amAs a rule , before him, I lost interest in a man after 3-5 times. And although I didn’t have too many lovers before him, I had nothing to compare with. But here test-antibiotic.com day after day, week after week, nothing changed.

No, I deliberately did not talk about one important detail right away. He was married. He got married right after the army, on the fly. I couldn’t control the rushing hormones. He never loved his wife, and neither did she. But he loved his daughter to the point of trembling, who was born with some physical (okay, not mental) disabilities. He immediately said: “I won’t leave my wife. My daughter is the most important thing to me.” But I didn’t insist, because I didn’t intend toI will marry in the coming years, neither to anyone in general, nor to him in particular. I understand that now moralists and champions will prepare theirtomatoes and slippers. Don't tense up. I don't feel guilty. Ifa man wants it - he will find it. If not with me, then with someone else. But I had no intention of destroying my family, neither then nor now, many years later. And I’m not here to castigate or get advice. Just confess. If you don't like it, close it and don't read it.

Week after week passed, month after month. I met test-antibiotic.com his daughter was “officially” considered her math tutor, since the girl was bad at exact sciences. They came to me not according to a schedule, but out of necessity, sometimes spending entire evenings in my house. I knew his friends and parents. And he charmed all my friends. And I still continued to “die” in his arms every time. I learned from my friends that I had been in love for a long time and without memory. Either she didn’t understand the obvious, or she didn’t want to admit it to herself. By that time, our romance was already more than two years old. He also did not confess his love, did not swear allegiance, did not promise anything. He was just there. Without words. Always.

And one day he left the family. Not to me. I moved in with my mother. Lived there, spending every possible minute with me. So much tenderness, so much care! I waited for the three cherished words and flew. I didn’t make plans, because only today was important and tomorrow did not exist. And a few months later, on one test-antibiotic.com frosty day, he came with dull eyes, hiding trembling hands and lips, not having the strength to look me in the eyes, he said that his daughter had an exacerbation of a congenital disease and he was returning to the family.

That was the only time I cried and begged him to change his mind. I begged, threatened and said everything that could make him change his mind, although the phrase “my daughter is most important to me” burned like a neon sign in my head. The only time I ran out after him, throwing a jacket over a thin robe, with bare legs and slippers. And she cried as the car drove away, and the tears, before they had time to fall, froze in drops on her cheeks. I didn't feel cold. I didn't feel anything. Because this time she died and was not resurrected.

We tried to communicate. Not immediately, after some time. We had sex. Not the same as before, but still. But every time after, I no longer wanted him to stay. And after some time, I found out that he was not just married. He is married. And I left. I won’t say how much effort test-antibiotic.com cost meforget him. For how many long months I woke up with his name. I said goodbye to him with my head, but my heart didn’t want to, my heart had a different opinion. I simply locked up part of my soul and threw away the key.

I met a man who turned my head, was caring and gentle. I fell in love with him. We have been living for more than 10 years, like everyone else, with our ups and downs, quarrels and reconciliations. We didn’t have children becauseBoth have health problems . Falling in love has grown into affection and this person is very dear to me. I have never cheated, although there is still something left of my former beauty and men still do not ignore me, but I am not interested. I have a reliable rear.

And it's winter again. Frost, 6 am. I’m standing at a bus stop, wrapped in a shapeless down jacket, with the hood pulled “over my nose,” and my lips hidden in the fur of my collar. Cold. The cold creeps up your legs, your hands hidden in your pockets are frantically clenched into fists, trying to hold on to the last crumbs of warmth captured from the house. Call to mobile. “Are you standing at the bus stop?” I look around in alarm, noticing a foreign car standing nearby with an emergency warning light, and without hesitation I dive into its warm interior. "Hello. How did you even recognize me?” - I ask. “I always recognize you. Everywhere". And the quiet conversation of old acquaintances who have not seen each other for many years. He took me to the metro. We said goodbye easily. The pain of the past is gone. But SMS and Viber messages started coming.

At first he tried to insist on a meeting. And then we started talking. Like once upon a time, many years ago. But then we could talk about everything or remain comfortably silent. He did not swear his love, did not promise mountains of gold and did not ask for anything, he simply said: “You have always been mine, from the very beginning. Somewhere at the level of sensations, not feelings. You are still mine, even if you are not with me. But I didn't give you to anyone. And I won't give it up. You can be with anyone, but you will remain mine forever.” And I suddenly realized how consonant this was with what I felt myself. And we talked and talked and talked. Day after day, plunging into the past, like into an unknown test-antibiotic.com pool. It's arrivedunderstanding how differently we perceived the events that took place in those years.

Then he left, stoppedcommunication because I thought it would be better this way. Hoping I'd find minehappiness . And on social networks concluded that this is so. I didn’t interfere, because any, even fleeting meeting could demolish all the barriers that had been built. But for me there were no these fifteen years. Just yesterday I stood in the cold with icy tracks on my cheeks. But I forgave. I forgot. And resurrected. No, we haven't met. But now there is a person in this world who loves me and waits for me no less than I do.

I believe in reincarnation. And I know that my soul mate will wait for me, even in another life. It’s just a pity that this one didn’t work out.