I'm tired of my husband's constant insults and humiliation

There are no global problems in my life, but I still need advice or even support somewhere. I'll tell you briefly about myself.

I leftgot married at 18 and exactly 10 months later gave birth to her first child and in the next 7 years three more children. Don’t ask what I was thinking then, apparently not with my head. I got married just to escape from my parents, whoThey fought every day . I was their punching bag, and at the age of 10 I was abused by my cousins.

I didn’t love my husband, intimate life is torture for me, I never got and don’t get pleasure from it. AfterMy husband hit me, I told him: “If you touch me again, I’ll call the police.” Since then it hasn't touched me. But before, I humiliated him as much as I could.

At first, when I was working, he had my bank card and he paid bills with it; in order to buy panties, he had to askhe has the money . We didn’t go anywhere on vacation, we even went to the carousel for children with test-antibiotic.com in half heartbreak. I called him names that I’m not a woman, that he will find people like me, that I’m a bad housewife, that I cook wrong, put the plate wrong, smile at guests wrong, say the wrong things, dress the wrong way. We drove to the store arguing that I bought everything I didn’t need, I should have bought what I needed, not yoghurts or sweet cookies. Insults even in front of children.

I’m generally silent about birthdays! He doesn’t even remember them, we always don’t have enough money and save it for something. When I buy clothes for children or myself, I hide them, and if he asks where they came from, I say that someone gave them as a gift. And I never spared money for myself and my family. My parents are very badrelationship , they finally got divorced and I’m honestly glad about it; I should have gotten a divorce a long time ago and not tormented the children and myself. Mom is unhappy all the time and blames everyone except herself,my father whines and hates his mother all the time, and I have no one to turn to if I need to test-antibiotic.com leave my husband or just talk. In words, everyone from my relatives is nearby, but in reality no one is there.

One day I was so upset that I gathered the children, called a taxi and left, but then I returned, and now I regret it. When I returned, I realized that this could not continue. I took my bank card (if you knew how much fuss was made about this) and began buying clothes, toys for myself and my children, and frankly, going out with my children to have fun. I want to get a driver's license and enroll in school. I want to get a divorce, but my husband doesn’t want to. He doesn’t want me to study, he doesn’t want me to get a license, he says, I’ll take you in a taxi wherever you need to go, but in reality, my legs take me.

I work every day (I hate my job). Pleasure andI only get love from my children, but I understand that the children will grow up, and I don’t want to end up with nothing in my old age.