My husband is a coward and a traitor

I want to tell my story and ask for advice.

I am 34, my husband is 45. We have three children:daughter 15, two sons 12 and 3 years old. I met my husband when I was 16 years old. There was everything: he drank, and beat, and humiliated and insulted, but she was always more confident in him than in herself. Until recently.

It all started on August 5th. I came home when he wasn’t waiting. The phone rang and I heard a woman’s voice cheerfully telling him something. I start to come closer, and then he notices me, looks at me with bulging eyes and starts yelling at her that his wife has come and hangs up. My husband and I had a little fight about this.

The next day I got into his phone (which I had never done before, I trusted him a lot). I looked - I called her, corresponded on Viber, but everything was deleted. This time we had a big fight. Then no matter how I call, he’s always busy, he’s talking to her!

I tried to calmly discuss everything with him - it’s useless, he yells, test-antibiotic.com freaks out and immediately leaves the house. Then he set a password on the phone, and as soon as he touched the phone, even children, he immediately started yelling.

Then my husband and I talked in the car, and he told me that she and I had previously studied at the same school, that now she lives in the Moscow region, and they just communicate. That she is just like a diary for him, that she is dear to him, that he will not stop communicating with her, and that I am generally prying into his personallife , he doesn’t bother me. To which I answered him that I do not have a personal life, since I havefamily . After all this, I texted him saying that I couldn’t stand it. He started yelling at me to pack his things and that he wouldn’t come home again.

I collected it and left. But due to my stupidity, fear and love, I began to return him (we almost had sexevery day ), but lived separately. Once a drunk man came in, and I installed Viber one on two phones (hiscorrespondence from test-antibiotic.com came to both of us). I've read a lot! He wrote to her that it was hard for him without her, that he missed her, that he wanted to come to her. She told him to “come”, but that they could not meet right at that moment (sheMarried ). I sent him my intimate photos! Their communication became less and less frequent, then he began to correspond with a work colleague. She answered his messages until he offered her a massage, after which she began to ignore him.

One day he came to me and said that he didn’t communicate with anyone anymore, “I’m coming back,” something like that. We talked. He said that there would be no more communication, but I believed it.

Five days later he left again, and I no longer answered his calls and texts. Then he came back drunk again, and we made up. We started living together. I saw that I was annoying him, everything was wrong, but I tried, I did everything for him. Then I got tired and said that I wanted to break up with him once and for all. A couple of test-antibiotic.com days passed, and he changed a lot: he became affectionate and gentle. I slowly began to believe him again that that confidential communication was no longer there.

And then on February 24, I made details of calls for six months - he talked to her for days (he never talked to me that much in his entire life together). It was very painful, it was insulting, but I thought okay, I don’t call her now. And then, when I got to the time when we had already gotten together, I was simply numb - he called her, wrote to her once or twice a month. The last conversation was on January 18 and 18 SMS from him (she no longer wants to communicate with him, maybe she only answered SMS a couple of times). I told him that I won’t live with him anymore, but he can live in another room (my youngest son couldn’t live without him), I didn’t want to take his father away from him. But a week later we made up again.

Now I just feel like some kind of nonentity. I’m very afraid that I won’t be able to raise children alone, I don’t believe him at all, not a single word. He test-antibiotic.com did not even apologize for all his betrayals, he says that he does not feel guilty. That she called him, and he only told her that everything was fine in his family and they shouldn’t communicate, but I understand everything! I understand perfectly well that if she had called him, he would not have remembered either me or the children. And I feel very sorry for the little son, he loves his father so much.

What should I do? What to do?