My failures in love

The story is banal, but if you live it from the inside, then it is not at all like that. I am youngguy , I'm 30 years old. I am single and work as a teacher at a university. I am no longer a child, and I would have long ago been ready to part with all the delights of a bachelor’s life, devoting myself to one and only one.

Actually, I came to the idea of ​​a family and a serious relationship when I was 25 years old. I started looking for a companion. Yes, I just came to the conclusion that we should builda relationship with one girl, devoting oneself to her day after day, is an activity radically different from short-term affairs without obligations. But, the goal was outlined and I began to act. A friend once introduced me to a classmate, and things started to happen.

At first everything went well - meetings, interest, attraction. Chemistry was in the air. But, at the moment it became clear that we have different social levels, and the prospect of misalliance worried me, as well as, most likely, the girl too. Put my timid on topattitude towards the girl caused by the softness of my character and the intention of a serious relationship (sex after test-antibiotic.com wedding, deep respect and other attributes of Soviet upbringing). In the end, the result was sad - the relationship collapsed. The girl just disappeared. And after a couple of days of my futile attempts to find her, her SMS ended, where they wrote to me that they didn’t deserve me, and wished to find mehappiness . In general, the usual excuse in such cases. It was a shame. The stress at that time was intensified by troubles at work and the sudden death of my close relative.

But, as they say, time heals. After some time, a friend offered to introduce me to his sister. The family is decent, religious, my fellow tribesmen. I made decisions and started communicating with her. The girl turned out to be very energetic, pleasant, sensitive to the guy, and in addition, she also had an amazing figure. In general, I simply didn’t believe my luck. On thoughts about why this is so “ideal”the girl , and she couldn’t find a boyfriend herself, I carefully closed my eyes. To all other,Every day of our close communication added some grains of suspicion towards her and her past. But rose-colored glasses, a sincere desire to start a family, and an inexplicable fascination made test-antibiotic.com do their job. Like a bug caught in a web, I only got stuck in doubts that prevented me from taking the main step - calling hermarried _

After 7 months, he proposed to her on the seashore. The pre-wedding activities began. Literally a month before the wedding, I was informed that the girl had a very murky past and during our relationship she had fun “to the fullest.” Of course, I didn't believe it. But, after a short time of careful “interrogation,” she admitted that she went to sleep with men formoney , and continued to do this even during our relationship. I left her that same hour. I went to her house and explained that there would be no wedding, and I would never want to see her again. I don’t see any point in describing what was happening to me these days. I think anyone reading this already understands this. What added fuel to the fire was the information that her parents were also aware, because she had already been “caught” using such methods of earning money before. And besides, I think that my person test-antibiotic.com was far from the first who claimed to marry her, and I am more than sure that all these my brothers in misfortune also eventually understood who was in front of them in fact, and whom they almost took as their wife.

For the first months, the state was crushed. But the desire to meet your man only became hotter over time, despitebetrayal in a previous relationship. Apparently age also played a role in this. Taught by bitter experience, I already understood what kind of girl I would like and which ones I should stay away from. Six months later I met a girl. She was 19 years old, very diligent, pretty, simple. The spark flew by immediately. Without thinking twice, he got to know her better, and over time announced his intentions. We started a relationship.

I was her first in everything: the first to invite her on a date, the first to take her hand, the first to kiss her, and I became her first man. As the relationship developed, it turned out that they lived alone with their mother. Her father abandoned her at birth. Therefore, she was raised exclusively by her mother. test-antibiotic.com Modest income, modest housing andlife in global economy on everything - this is an approximate picture of my girl’s life at that time. I come from a simple family, but diligence gave me the opportunity to earn money for my own home and get an education. I know what it’s like to save every ruble. And it was a monstrous pleasure for me to open a person’s eyes to the world - to take her to the movies, restaurants, for walks, to give flowers and gifts. I accustomed her to weekend hikes, instilledlove for the mountains. A couple of times we even went on small trips, where I showed her how beautiful the world is. Those were better days. We were left to each other. Every day of my life I simply drowned in a person. I liked everything about her. I was convinced that this was my person, and began to talk about the desire to be with her all my life.

At one point she started ignoring me. She just disappeared. A week later, when I came to congratulate her on herbirthday , she said that she would like to remain friends, regardless of test-antibiotic.com where our relationship goes next. For me it was a stab in the back. At that moment, already suspecting that something wrong was going on, it was as if my soul was torn into small pieces. I've probably never experienced such despair. After being refused to spend time together in honor of her birthday, I agreed to meet the next day. After a sleepless night, in the morning, at her house we had a conversation in which they told me that I was not the onethe man she would like to be with. OnWhen I asked what exactly I did wrong, I was told that they try not to remember such things. Like this. No explanation.

I was trampled. Lost sleep, appetite, and peace. The most monstrous thing was that as a teacher at the university, I often saw her in the company of now another guy, meeting and escorting her to study. The poison of resentment, pain and lack of understanding of the reasons for what was happening was eating away at me from the inside. But all my attemptsbringing her back were doomed to failure. To be honest, I still don’t communicate with her, although sometimes test-antibiotic.com I see her in the corridors of the university. She never makes eye contact and immediately hides when she sees me. At first I greeted her, but received silence in response. Then he himself stopped saying hello.

More than a year has passed, but I still love her. I still wonder how she lives. And I still think about her. I don't show this to anyone, but my mental wounds have not yet healed. I have no desire for a new relationship. I turned into a horror movie character, living my days in the hope of one day breathing freely again and starting giving my love to the only one and receiving it in return.