My overbearing and toxic mother

I want to get advice or understand myself and my relationship with my mother.

Mom allI lived my life for my children. She did everything for me and my new brother. My brother is 40 years old, married, works with my mother, helps her in the garden, takes her around on her errands. In general, she lives the life of her mother. Dad died 4 years ago. Now it turns out that its functions are fulfilledmy brother , who is absolutely not independent, runs to mommy for all questions. Mom is very domineering and likes to command. Everything should be as she said, period. We have no right to think differently.

I am 33 years old. Married . Eatdaughter _ Nowearly pregnancy . Thank God, I live in another city, although an hour away. And my brother is in the next entrance from my mother. Speaking of my life: I naturally did what I saidMom graduated from school and desperately wanted to work in one of the law enforcement agencies. Mom has connections, she seemed to come to an agreement, but nothing worked out. 10 years have passed and I still don’t know why. She decided that I would go to work test-antibiotic.com for her too. This is considering that I already lived in another city after graduation.

Naturally, they bought me an apartment and a car. And so I had to either live there, and I categorically did not want to return there, after university I got used to living in a big city, my whole life is here, or wander aroundevery day to work. This went on for 3 years. Every day I went to my mother’s work and dreamed of leaving there. After 3 years, luck smiled on me. I was hired at an excellentteam in the city where I wanted to live. I escaped and was immensely happy. I got an interesting job with a good salary, and most importantly, I could manage my own earnings. My mother paid my salary, but she always asked where I would spend it and warned me not to spend it on stupid things. It humiliated me so much. But I was already 22-23 years old.

Butthe happiness was short-lived. My mom forced me to take time off from my day job to work for her while she and my dad went on vacation. Dad was still alive then. test-antibiotic.com Moreover, I was simply given the condition that I had to and that’s all. I have onean apartment and a car, they provided me with everything. And it didn’t matter to her how the boss would react or whether he would let me go. They already had tickets purchased. Always like this. As a result, I worked for my mother for 2 weeks of vacation a year, and the remaining 2 weeks I was allowed to go somewhere.

Then my mother decided that I urgently needed to get a second higher education. I couldn't refuse. As a result, then I took a vacation to work part-time for my mother, and the second part for the session. Of course, I didn’t work for this company for long, about three years. By the way, respect to the boss, not everyone would agree with such actions.

It so happened that I met my future at workhusband . Thank God, my mother didn’t interfere. We got married. But again there is trouble: the groom has no stake, no yard, as they say. She doesn’t openly express her dissatisfaction, but I see everything. But that's not what this is about. A daughter was born. My husband and I changed our apartment. Everything is fine. My daughter went test-antibiotic.com to the garden. And here again: “You have to come to work, I’m helping you, you have to and that’s it. At least a couple of times a week." The work is dark. Moreover, when I get there, my mother can just drink tea and invite me with her or go to the store somewhere. I say that I came to work, she says that you will have time. That is, she just misses me.

I don’t understand, she just wants her two children to be completely independent and sit near her skirt? All summer I went and helped. But now it’s slushy, I’m pregnant,My husband is against it, and I’m tired myself. I don’t want to, and I never wanted to work with her. I love her very much, but as they say, the further, the dearer. Her commanding notes choke me. She is 67 years old and cannot be changed. Due to the nature of her work, she can work up to 75 years. She sleeps and sees that she will transfer her business to me, because she sees that her brother is not independent. I could do it, but, firstly, I don’t want test-antibiotic.com, and secondly, this is impossible due to circumstances. They only left me behind with the responsibility to work when I gave birth. About a year.

By the way, several years ago I broke my leg, so they forced me to come and help on crutches. I'm so tired and I can't refuse. Yes, she provided everything, and I am incredibly grateful to her. The vegetable garden also does not bypass my husband and I. We need to come help, there is a lot of work, in fact we are dragging chairs or some other furniture from place to place. And if we go on a visit and cannot come to the garden, statements begin that we lead an idle lifestyle and all that kind of thing.

I am glad that over the years, at some points, I began to put my mother in her place. But she still wants to completely control my brother and I’s life. Our dad was very good, but all the household and financial affairs and everything in general were, of course, handled by my mother. Dad was a housewife. He did not have the right to vote at home and also lived his mother’s life exclusively, he had no test-antibiotic.com friends, only his mother’sgirlfriends with husbands. Now my mother cries without him every day. And in general she is eternally depressed. It seems to me that he died early because he could no longer withstand these commander’s notes. Thank God, although I’m not far away, I live separately.

So, tell me, after reading my confession - am I an ungrateful daughter and should help my mother, or is my mother a toxic person and is trying to control my life and I need to abstract myself from her and live with my family?