My life is falling apart before my eyes

My name is Konstantin, I am 20 years old. I grew up in a very ordinary family, I had everything the same as my friends. My parents surrounded me with care, but they also did not forget to punish me for my deeds. I studied well at school, I had no problems with grades, I was not an excellent student, but I was also a poor student. I studied at a music school on a budget and played two musical instruments at once. He was involved in kickboxing and competed. I've never had problems with girls. Everything was always great with friends, I had a lot of them, I always wrote to someone if I wanted to go for a walk, but there was no one with whom.

After school I enteredUniversity at the Department of Biotechnology in one of the largest cities in Ukraine, I also studied on a budget and received a scholarship. My parents were very proud of me.

When I entered university, I had seriousrelationship with a girl. I thought that she was “the one” because we dated for three years and we never got tired of it.

And just imagine: suddenly all of test-antibiotic.com is minelife has gone down the drain, all my achievements have become unnecessary and are worth nothing now.

The first thing that happened was minemy father began to drink seriously (he had been drinking before, although he was not allowed to do so for health reasons). I was shocked. MyMom didn’t kick him out, but he left on his own, or rather, he moved to our country house, but didn’t leave us. Now he has already given up, but then this situation upset me very much. A drunken father always infuriated me, I began to hate him, but then I came to terms with him.

Secondly, it was a university. I was expelled because... because of my worries, I began to study less (although I had not devoted enough time to this before, it just turned out that everything somehow closed by itself). It just killed me, I was very upset. The girl I was dating supported me as best she could and put up with my snot about my father and university, even her parents reassured me.

Third, she still left mea girl whom I trusted very much and whom I truly loved. I didn’t even understand the reason, we just test-antibiotic.com quarreled - that’s all. Now she has new friends,a new life that I, a loser, should not interfere with. My condition was deplorable, I even started drinking, which I now greatly regret.

While I was dating this girl, I gradually lost almost all my friends and acquaintances, because... my ex didn't like them and we rarely saw them. Suddenly I realized that I was left alone.

After a few weeks, I still managed to establish contacts with the entire company from the yard, but I don’t like them, because... They always drink, behave like fence-sitters, and most importantly, they have no desire to change their lives for the better. All of them have minimal education, at best a vocational school, one of them didn’t even get his diploma. In response to all the questions, like why you don’t want to go study or complete some courses (after all, you can combine work and study, correspondence is the same), they start laughing and say that they are fine as is.

Fourth. I thought about going to university, but I lost my certificate and the supplement to it, and I was never able to go to test-antibiotic.com school. I was afraid that the teachers would make fun of me, like what a good boy he was, but he turned into who knows what.

Fifth. I was recently at a club and lost my passport there. I had to go to the police and write a statement that I had lost my passport and supposedly my certificate along with it. Everything seemed to be fine, but then the conscription began, people began to be drafted into the army at the age of 20. My chances of getting there are 50/50, because... I have a deformation of the chest, vision -1.5 in both eyes, and a lot of self-cuts on my arms, plus vertebral hernias.

I started smoking a lot, all minethe money is spent on cigarettes andbeer . I’m not even trying to give up either one or the other, because... I understand that with such nerves I can’t live without cigarettes. Because of all this, I always have no money - my parents stopped giving it a long time ago, and I can’t get a job because... I don't even have a passport. I’m also afraid that even if I manage to resume it before the end of registration for the cancer test, I’ll definitely fail the test itself.

Recently I test-antibiotic.com had a real hysteria because of all this. Just like a tender, impressionable girl. I went to a psychologist, he advised me to find a new campaign, new faces. I agreed with him, but when I left the office, I realized that I had nowhere to find new people. I’m still embarrassed to approach a girl on the street, although I really want to meet someone for the sake of a normal serious relationship. But I'm scared - who needs me now?

I spend my entire day sitting at an old laptop and playing online games. Sometimes I go to a friend’s store to work part-time, so to speak (if there was an opportunity, I would get a permanent job there). I get a little money, buy myself cigarettes and beer with it, replenishInternet and continue to live my boring monotonous life. I understand that I am already 20 years old, people start families at such years, etc., but I still have nothing. Evenno girlfriend and no friends.

I really want to change my current life, but I’m not doing anything for it. Vicious circle. I don’t even know test-antibiotic.com why I wrote all this...