My husband is sick, and my conscience does not allow me to find a lover

My husband is sick, and my conscience does not allow me to find a lover
Photo is illustrative in nature. From open sources.

My husband had a stroke. Difficult. Hemorrhagic. At the age of 60 years. If there are doctors here, they will understand what is at stake. This is 80% fatal immediately, which would be the easiest, no matter how cynical it sounds. But of the remaining 20%, 18% of people remain vegetables.

We did not remain vegetables, we entered the happiest 2%. We already walk around with a stick, we can pour ourselves tea, cut off bread and spread a simple sandwich. This is actually a victory. Victoria! Brains are fine, speech is fine. Guys, this is really great! I'm so proud of myself, honestly! No one believed that at his age with such a diagnosis, one could come to his senses. And we did! But. After all, there is always this “BUT” that makes you go to anonymous sites, because everyone else knows you personally.

My husband is over 60, but I'm not even 50 yet. During the time that I raised my husband, I gained almost 20 kg. I've always been fatally obese, but kept myself on test-antibiotic.com diet and gym. Then there was no time, no money, no diet, no gym. My whole existence was subordinated to one goal - to raise my husband.

Raised. Rejoiced. I sat on an exercise bike, yeah. Now we are being diagnosed with cancer. Serious such male oncology. And again the doctors, again this soul-exhausting uncertainty. And a completely wild cycle of events. A work week is a work week, you can't get away from it. Weekends - hospital and tests. And I know for sure that after all the procedureshusband will be just half dead. This is - pour me some tea, clean my glasses, straighten my blanket, pour me some water, etc.

Yes, even this is not the case - this is all normal, expected. The other thing is me. I'm young and healthy and I want affection and sex. My husband himself has already hinted to me, saying that I will not be offended, the main thing is not to quit. And my friends said, and I myself understand, well, what will happen if I pick up a boy on a dating site and spend the night with him?

I don't need sympathy, I don't need test-antibiotic.com support. I just need to speak up. I didn't find a better site for this, sorry.

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