My husband did not forgive me for this behavior

I left at 20married to the head of the company where I worked, who was much older than me. Say now that because of the money - no. It was my first man in my life. I loved him very much. He was interesting, handsome, successful, and young girls always paid attention to him. He was very courteous and generous. Mymy mother approved my choice.

My life was like in a fairy tale. I went abroad for the first time. I began to communicate with very interesting people who were also much older than me and treated me with kindness. Expensive clothes and jewelry. Your big house. My husband loved me very much and never got jealous. He allowed a lot, and clubs, and revealing clothes. I was jealous of him for everyone who looks at him. Everything was fine in bed too. He taught me a lot. Later we were bornchild , son. I so wanted to give birth to his son. And from that moment in my life beganproblems .

Housework, sleep deprivation, baby fatigue, andjealousy that his ex-wife had a housekeeper, nannies, and in our family everything was on me. My husband did not help me around the house and with the child, as he was constantly at work. I began to constantly complain to my mother and close friends about my husband. Several times I went to my mother, but then, feeling that I love him, I returned. She made scandals out of stupidity, even threw herself at her husband with her fists. He endured all this, tried to influence me in his own way, was offended, did not talk, pushed me away from intimacy. I thought that he was breaking my character and, of course, resisted. Plus, my mother and friends supported me in everything. They hammered into my head that I am such a beauty, and lethusband rejoices that he lives with a young woman.

This went on for a couple of years. That's good, that's bad. In one of these bad moments, I again went to my mother, and there I met my classmate, whom I used to stare at at school. Handsome. He was already married and haddaughter . Mutual attentions, meetings began, and I cheated on my husband. I was happy with test-antibiotic.com at that moment. As always, she shared her happiness with her mother and friends. They were also very happy for me. They advised me not to return to my husband, and try to build a new relationship with a peer.

After some time, I nevertheless returned to my husband. He persuaded me very much, he missed the child. But when I returned to my husband, I already lived with an attraction to another, and my husband noticed it, felt it. Once again, I threw a scandal, honestly provoked us to get divorced, but at the same time I didn’t tell my husband about the betrayal. I made him feel guilty about everything, said that I didn’t love him anymore, packed my things, and went back to my mother. My husband finally said that he loves me very much, and he will hope that my young character will calm down, he just needs a little time to live separately, and if nothing is decided, then we will get divorced.

I returned to my mother, she took care of raising the child, and I started dreaming about a new life with my beloved. I just flew with happiness that now I can do what I want. I decided to take test-antibiotic.com away from my lover from the family. I did everything openly so thatwife knew everything. She found out. I gave him a scandal, and he, afraid of the consequences, left me. I didn't get too upset, but it was still annoying. Then I had other connections. I felt like they let me out and dated a lot of guys. Of course, there were well-wishers and my husband found out about my betrayal and did not forgive. Followeddivorce . I had not yet thought about the serious consequences of a divorce, and I was sure that my friends and mother said that my husband would not take the child from me. And in the end, everything turned around. I don’t know by what truths and not truths he achieved in court that the child was given to him for upbringing. It should not be! I’m not a drug addict, I’m not mentally ill, really stupid and I myself was frightened of such a decision, I gave the child to my father myself, and hoped that my husband would play enough with the child and return him. And he packed his things and left for another city. As far as I know now, he generally now lives in another country.

I am very sorry that I did this. I regret listening to my mother and friends. After all, I was fine! I just didn’t walk up in my youth, and decided to try another candy. Everyone is laughing at me now. I feel like even my girlfriends. I feel friends whispering behind me. All lovers are just lovers. No one is serious, and even such a story is behind me ... Only now I am truly ashamed and offended.

I don’t know who to consult with and what to do to get everything back. I know that my husband still lives alone, with a child. Maybe he still loves me, that's why he's alone. But I don’t know what words to find for him in an apology. And will he forgive me for treason? I really miss my son, and communication becomes less and less. Maybe my husband is taking revenge on me. It's scary to know that I've lost everything.

Do not throw stones at me, please, I myself know that I acted vilely, and now I am crying.