The husband lives on everything ready and dictates his terms

We have been married for 20 years. There are children, 19 and 11 years old. I'm tired of living in constant tension. My husband does not officially work. Now there is no permanent income. I didn’t work for a long time, I was a housewife, finances allowedhusband andMom helps all the time. Then I got a job, I had severe neurosis (I was being treated) due to an abortion, work helped me get out of this state. ButMy husband continued not to work, by that time his finances had become even worse, then I was laid off. Currently searching.

It makes me angry that I'm trying to find something, but he's not really there. Now I have taken in my old grandmother; there is no one to care for her. We practically live on her pension and my small income (remote). Debts are accumulating, the husband does not move. My mother also helps. Even if I get a job somewhere else, helife won't change at all.

For childrenneeded every daymoney for food, travel. The most necessary things - I give everything. He doesn't even worry about it. There is generally zero attention to the older child. She hashealth problems , test-antibiotic.com I have to constantly be examined and treated - I pay for everything. CallsThe daughter is rude, although he treats her terribly. As a child (she told me this much later), he poured a bowl of soup on her because she didn’t want to eat. And he forced it. Then he hit her once in the face and pulled her ear so hard that he tore out her earring until it bled. And I will find out all this later! After few years. I just hated him!

When I start to express something to him about this, he responds like this: “think and say what you want.” That is, he makes it clear that he doesn’t care about my opinion. It turns out that only he is right? Never go up to your daughter and ask her how she’s doing or how she’s feeling. There is no talk of any gifts at all. There is no communication when my father is alive. This really upsets me. The opposite is true for the youngest child.attitude . Pampers, loves. Naturally, I protect my eldest daughter. I feel sorry for her, she went to a psychologist for almost a year, she haddepression is long. Problems with studies, friends. And I’m always stressed at home. test-antibiotic.com Despite all this, I tolerate it. But with the last of her strength, she said, give me a divorce? I said no, I was afraid that I would leave him for my mother. She lives abroad.

What to do? I myself am already starting to feel depressed from all this, yesterday we had an argument - today he is silent. This is normal for him, once he didn’t talk to me for a week. I said, either we will talk or leave. That I can't do that. How to get out of a vicious circle?