Obsession or still love?

Now I am 37 years old, two children,daughter andson , I am completely independent and self-sufficient.

I’ll start the story with the fact that my daughter’s father and I separated when she was 3 years old (now 13), but we maintained wonderful, friendly friendships.relationship . I was 27 years old then. After the divorce, I fell recklessly in love with a married man at that time. He was in the process of divorcing his wife, who also had a daughter. We dated for about a year, he didn’t promise anything. And it so happened that I became pregnant. I didn’t think for a long time, I decided that I would leave the child (as I felt that there would be a son), I loved him so much.

When talking with him, I said that I would not have any complaints against him, and I would give him the right to choose whether he wants to be with us. After which the person simply disappeared from my life. As I promised, I didn’t bother him in any way, I didn’t apply for alimony, although we met periodically (just a nod of the head in greeting and that’s it, like superficial acquaintances).

The years passed. I somehow found out from social media. networks that he married test-antibiotic.com for the second time, in his homeland, Ukraine. She lives there, and he is still here, flying to her on vacation (we have big ones, 3 months each). And on February 23 of this year, our meeting in a nightclub, after almost 9 years and madness, coming to me, there was nothing to talk about. And I understand that these years have not changed anything in my attitude towards him, although I did not live as a nun, there were men. I find out what he hasmy wife gave birth there, my son is 9 months old, he has 2 more years to work here. And in the morning he simply took 2 photographs of our son and left.

A small note: I always knew his address and phone number, but I promised myself not to get into hislife if he doesn't want it. After February 23, it disappears again, for more than six months. And then last week the call came again and his arrival. And again I can’t refuse and again everything goes in a circle. In the end, I understand that I’m a fool, I understand that I don’t need it, but I can’t do anything test-antibiotic.com with myself. It's like an obsession. My son is almost 9 years old. He should arrive today. This will be their second meeting in as many years. My son doesn’t know him, but perhaps I still hope for something. Now I’m sitting and waiting for his call. Well, aren't you stupid?