I can’t live with my husband anymore, but there’s no way to leave yet

My husband and I have been living for 10 years. Over the years, so much has accumulated and every day the resentment grows like a snowball.

Firstly,the husband is greedy. At the very beginning of the relationship and the first couple of years, he did not spare money for me. And inpregnancy (I became pregnant almost immediately), and in the first year and a half after the birth of my son, everything was fine financially. Then his business declined and he closed it. I looked for a job for a year and lived on savings. Initially, I worked until the birth and from the child’s three months (from home), the income was small, but it was there. At that time, we hunkered down and bought only the essentials. But I’m not offended, everyone has difficulties with finances.

Then he found a well-paid job and a few months later he was replaced. By that time, my small business had collapsed. But at the family council they decided that I don’t work and take care of the house and child. But then a sharp cut in finances began for the child and me. Even for household needs. Well, you can’t feed yourself on 15 test-antibiotic.com thousand a month for three people and a dog, including household chemicals. Moreover, even theseI had to beg for money , explain, humiliatingly, where I spent 5 thousand in 2 weeks! I’m generally silent about clothes and other necessities.

I got tired and went to work. The work is physically difficult (groom), at work for days,the child is with his grandfather for days. I worked like this for three years. I let it go and went to school ill-prepared. I'm still reaping the benefits. My husband was angry and thought that I was cheating on him there at night. I got tired and quit. I thought that I would endure it, since I needed to take care of my son, but it wouldn’t work out by working, and the school was also in a different area (registered).

My husband earns well, 250-300 thousand. This is much higher than the average for our poor region. He drives a new car for 3 million, straight from the showroom. Last year I bought a foreign car for 200 thousand, which is 21 years old. Yes, and he bought it only because his friends were already laughing at him, saying that he drives an expensive car, butwife in an old, leaky, rusty, right-hand drive compact car. So to this day, test-antibiotic.com tells me that this is his car, since he bought it for me (50 thousand of them are mine from an old car I sold, which I bought at my own expense 7 years ago). He rented me a garage next to his. Not for the sake of taking care of me, but to better control me (when I left and came), there is a camera in his garage. If I say “in my garage,” he always corrects me: “in mine.” And in general everything became his and mine.

Once I took his bicycle, which he had ridden once in 8 years, to ride with a friend, so in the evening an ugly scandal awaited me, why I took his thing without asking. Recently I needed to treat a complex tooth (I can treat simple ones and go for free), I told him that I needed 10 thousand fortreatment , he replied, there is no money. A couple of days later we went to buy clothes for him and spent 100 thousand. To myself. When the seller suggested that I pick something up, he said: “today is my day.” On your ownMy daughter doesn’t regret anything either. Clothes, gadgets, entertainment. This is all in addition to considerable alimony.

We don't go anywhere on vacation. During these test-antibiotic.com years, last year, for the first time, my child and I flew to the Black Sea together (I secretly took 100 thousand from his savings). When I found out, I almost threw him down the stairs. Moreover, he has enough savings for 2 more of his cars.

I really don’t understand what happened to him in terms of money. Yes, I’m actually sitting on my own now, not working. But I completely took over the life and the child. Even his 13-year-old daughter from his first marriage is often on me. Take them here and there, help with lessons, etc. He doesn't do anything at home. From the word absolutely. Cleaning, washing, cooking, ironing, dog, homework, children's classes. Take his car to the service center, take his documents, bring him back for work, and a bunch of other errands. Even men’s work, like nailing, drilling, fixing a faucet, loading the cellar with vegetables - everything is on me. Thanks to dad, he taught me everything in due time. I also have a house with a vegetable garden, inherited from my grandmother.

And still bad. In the morning he leaves, claims. He comes, doesn’t have time to undress, claims. I'm already silent, I have no strengthswear . I also test-antibiotic.com buried my father a year ago. My husband didn’t offer a penny for the funeral. On days 9 and 40 I got drunk (there isproblems with alcohol). I buried my grandmother in May. I didn’t go to the funeral; I was also insane.

When he drinks, he doesn’t control himself, insults, humiliates, and doesn’t let him sleep until 5-6 in the morning. Normal people look forward to the weekend with joy, but I look forward to it with horror. Over the last year I have been trying to go with my child to my mother’s for the weekend.

As I write, I’m horrified at how I live with him. I want to get a divorce. A year already, if not more. Burnt out emotionally. No forces. Uncertainty and possible poverty are scary. I won’t be able to earn much, I have no education, I quit after completing 2 courses, and now I regret it. I can’t financially afford to go to school now. My son studies in another area and needs to be transported. Regarding alimony, my husband constantly threatens that he will show the minimum wage in my salary and I will receive pennies. I say, what about my daughter? After all, then she will also receive pennies. He says I will help my daughter even without alimony.

And soEvery day there are herds of thoughts in my head about what to do.