Can't forgive my father

For the past 4 years, a strong resentment towards my dad has settled in my soul. Let's start with the fact that I loved him very much, always listened to him, completely trusted him and relied on him in everything. Since school, he kept telling me that I should study well and enter the university, he himself will present the rest to me on a silver platter (work and personal life), referring to the fact that he has a lot of friends working in prestigious organizations and sitting high . I completely succumbed to my studies, entered the university and successfully unlearned there without any problems. After graduating from the university, my father sent me to work in a very prestigious place, I worked there, justified the trust, was a very responsible worker. I liked the job andColleagues , everything suited me.

Time passed, I was 23 when my father's dearmy sister put me on the list of old maids (Ia girl of Caucasian nationality, but we are far from any customs and traditions in many ways, but, unfortunately,the question of marriage and relations between a guy and a girl remained in “that century”). Dad test-antibiotic.com then put her in her place, and the truth is that she didn’t climb on me anymore. At this time, they actively went out in turnmarried my cousins.

One day I called my dad and invited me to talk to me at work (it was not possible at home). I am very weak-nerved and therefore the conversation immediately began with tears. I tell him: "you promised to fix my life after I finish my studies and work a little, I think time is running out." He answered like this: “you are a daughter, don’t worry about anything, I’ll do everything, wait a bit.”

Meanwhilemy mother and my younger sister put pressure on me, wooing one guy. And my dad, apparently, knew about the pressure of my mother and sister, so he famously avoided me, we practically didn’t see each other at home (he lived at work at the airport). One evening, my mother told me that if I did not marry that guy, then she would forbid me to go out with friends, go to corporate parties, etc. In general, stupidly at work and home. Like, it’s already 24 years old, how long will test-antibiotic.com still live like this, you need to start a family, etc. A whole lecture, and soevery day . I, hoping for dad, asked me to give me some time, she gave it, and dad kept running away. Finally, the day came when the marriage took place.

I kind of tried to put up with it, and my fiancé seemed like a prince. And in fact, he was just throwing dust in his eyes, but that's another topic. The day after the wedding, I wanted to run away. In general, she lived, as if by inertia. And now, 4 months later, it was my birthday. At this birthday, for some reason myfather had a serious quarrel with a relative of her husband. I thought that he was drunk, they say, he drank and said too much, word for word, etc. In fact, he was completely sober, he did not drink a gram of alcohol that evening. Why I quarreled with him in the house where I live (we live with my husband's parents) I don’t understand. The next day he called me and said: "I did everything right."

It seems that everyone reconciled, they forgot everything, time passed and at the day of test-antibiotic.com the birth of my child (celebrated for 1 year) there were a lot of guests, I approached my dad a couple of times and said in plain text: “do not try to quarrel with anyone.” True, I felt as if I had warned him several times. Toward the end of the evening, I noticed that my father had taken my uncle aside (with whom there was a conflict) and was arguing violently about something. I went up to them, a couple more people came up and my mother and then my father stupidly headed for the exit. Like a rat escaped from the ship. Words cannot describe my state then.

Naturally, after such antics of my father, the attitude of my husband's relatives towards me has changed radically. My father did not call me, I texted him everything that I think about him. I went to my mother only when he was not at home. A year later, he began to slowly send congratulations on all sorts of holidays, and regularly showermoney for the phone (I didn’t need it at all). In a week it will be exactly 2 years since my father and I did not see each other.

Sometimes he calls himself, and we talk test-antibiotic.com, no more than 3 minutes, I try to end the conversation quickly. I don’t want to communicate with him, I don’t miss him, I don’t want to see him and talk to him. I didn't get married very well.My husband is not bad, but he absolutely does not suit me, we are completely different people. In moments when it’s really hard for me, I blame my father for everything, sometimes I even hate him very much. I relied on him, and he.

I can do allI'm sorry , I'm not a touchy person at all. They smile at me, they talk, and I immediately forgive and forget everything, as if nothing had happened. But I can't have a father. Although I understand that in many respects I myself am to blame, I had only to rely on myself. I just can't calm down and let it all go. Maybe I'm confused here, but the bottom line is that I believe that my father is to blame for my unsuccessful marriage. I need to get rid of this feeling of resentment.