I can’t trust the man again who left me pregnant

I am 29 years old, I hold a management position in a very good company, I love a man, we have been dating for 2.5 years.

He has an exwife and two children (I haven’t loved my wife for a long time,He kept the marriage formal because of the children, but got divorced because of me). A foreigner, working for a good salary on a visa (but the choice of work is not very large). We lived permanently in my city, and worked right there. The relationship was like a roller coaster - we broke up and got back together 5 times.

They didn’t plan it, I got pregnant, decided to give birth without his consent, since I had already had one abortion, I was afraid of the risks of not having children, my age and the fact that the child was from the man I loved, but he said that he did not want any more children and would get married. Although he divorced with the condition that we get married, I just soon became pregnant. He actually left me at 6 months - he suggested an abortion, said that he was unhappy, I packed my things and left, not understanding how a “loving man” could send me with a living big child for an abortion at such a period. I wished him a happy life, since he was feeling bad with me test-antibiotic.com and left.

He returned 1.5 months later, swore his love, proposedhelping the child and yourself, of course. I want a full-fledged family, andYou can’t tear love out of your heart so quickly and gave him a chance, but then it turned out that he was leaving his job here and he had to go to a distant northern city for a project (2-3 years) and I had to go with him. Moreover, the condition is strict - 2-3 months after giving birth and I have to move, there’s no other way,our relationship will deteriorate. At one time, he and his ex-wife lost love for precisely this reason - distance, she lived in another country, he worked in another, they rarely saw each other.

I don’t want to move so far and carry a small baby doll behind him (there are no direct flights to my city, planes with transfers). Here I have a favorite interesting job, parents who helped me a lot when he left me, and really want and are waiting for their first grandchild, friends, comfortablelife , way of life We lived in rented apartments for 2.5 years, moved several times, and experienced constant test-antibiotic.com stress from rented apartments - breakdowns, conflicts with owners when moving. There is no comfort, nothing can be changed, oppressive colors, few personal belongings, no sense of home. Now I have to not only live in a rented apartment again, but also alone in an unfamiliar city!

The man refused to buy an apartment in my city for us (although there are installment plans, almost like rent), he is not sure where he will work and live. The downside for me is that his goal is to buy an apartment for his ex-wife and children, she demands, nags, and he wants to see the children, wants them to move to Russia closer to him. I see this as his goal to go to work in this city for a good salary. I asked to look for a simpler job, but here, he says, there is no work here, no, that’s all. I don't believe.

I was tired of pulling two roles - both worked hard, but I also had to solve all the household chores, repairs, everythingproblems , he is a foreigner and speaks Russian poorly, he doesn’t do anything around the house and doesn’t want to, he was brought up by test-antibiotic.com according to his culture, I understand, but I was very tired. And here is a new city, a newborn baby, I will be alone all the time (he will work 90%) of the time - documents, hospitals, cooking, washing, repairs, shopping. I’m afraid I won’t be able to stand it, I can, I’m a workaholic, I can procrastinate, but I know how much stress I’ll experience all the time and I’ll be unhappy. It will be easier for me at home, I know. I haveMom is kind, caring, helping,sister in a car,my friends , everyone helps and supports me, and I really need this support. Precisely because I will have my first child! When he left me, I renovated my room in my own home - a white and gold paradise, everything I like, I bought almost everything for the baby, prepared it, all by myself. And then you have to go to a rented apartment in an unfamiliar city.

I love him! I want a full-fledged family, but I’m really tired of following a man and his goals, he evenhe didn’t ask me to get married after pregnancy, neither before nor now, when he returned. I was tired of hinting about the registry office, he told a fairy tale that we could sign test-antibiotic.com at any moment, that he wanted to do everything beautifully, in a special way, but in fact there were no proposals, conversations, and especially no actions. I really love him, but I can’t trust him completely after he left. There is alsoI’m afraid to completely depend on him, my maternity benefits are meager (the salary was mediocre), there are no special savings. He doesn’t want to leave us in my city even for six months; he categorically says that this will kill the relationship. I understand, but I don't want to sacrifice so much! He says that this work is forced on him, that he is now even worse than me, like, I’m capricious. After all, this is how they live: men work, women take care of the house and children alone.

Well, why should I lose everything - parents, friends, my favorite job, my comfort and, most importantly, emotional harmony? I gain nothing from moving, I only lose, what about him? He will have everything! He’ll buy his wife an apartment, a career, my care, but what about me? I explained everything to him, he doesn’t understand and doesn’t want to hear anything, he test-antibiotic.com has his “plan”. Maybe there's a better way to explain it to him? He can come once every two weeks, but he doesn’t want to. I want to take care of the child in a calm and comfortable atmosphere without worries, stress, I want the support of loved ones, is this bad, especially with the first-born?

I don’t know what to do, I’m suffering, I’m worried, I’m sleeping very poorly, I’m about to give birth, and my head is torn - how are we going to live, where, are we going to separate or not? All conversations end in absolute misunderstanding and resentment, he doesn’t understand me, I don’t want to accept his unilateral decision - “either you move or our relationship is over.” It’s very pressing that my family and my whims turn out to be more valuable to me than him.